{Image: The City of Light}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:31-32][19870326:1543m]{Image: The City of Light}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

A few days ago, perhaps in response to various questions that have been puzzling me (e.g. where is the end, if any, on the Circle symbols? Is there a City in the Vale of Harmony on [...]land, and if so, what kind? And – a long-standing one – what happens after [the] Castle […]) – I had an image, which recurs, of what lies through the Stone Doorway at the summit of the [Mountain]: The Ultimate City. It is extremely difficult for me to describe what I see – and perhaps misleading and pointless to try, as symbolism has limitations and my inner eye is not likely to be clear. Vanity shivers the Vision. It is a City in Abstract: a City of Light, whose Form and Structure is Clear Light and whose Citizens are one with its Structure – so far as I can tell. The City shows slightly different facets, and seems to move, as the Light moves; but whether this is really so, I cannot say. It is enough to have seen it, and I hope to continue to see it, or at least to keep the memory of that Jewel in my mind's eye, as I go around.

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{Recurring Image: Death and Dismemberment [continued(3)]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:31][19870326:1543l]{Recurring Image: Death and Dismemberment [continued(3)]}[26^th March 1987]

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[continued]

Do I believe this?* What does “believe” mean? I should be surprised, and probably suspicious, to see one of the personal archetypes who guide me, with my external eye, at this stage; the inner eye is enough. This is a way of looking at the World. I do not believe that I have invented it; I may have developed or adapted it, in one way or another, or not.

*[See last previous entry]

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{Recurring Image: Death and Dismemberment [continued]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:30-31][19870326:1543k]{Recurring Image: Death and Dismemberment [continued]}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

Walking down to [I] one day recently I saw R.A.F. jets fly past just above, and sinking below, the brow of the hill ahead: a symbol of the heights of the Air quarter ahead of me which attract me strongly, but which I must turn back from, and go back, down South, to Wales maybe (which was always +K's country – cf. The 'Welsh Witch' in [1]), and dip again into the Human diversities of the South before I can rise up again. Maybe I shall come to the North again – we loved Raasay, but knew in the end that it was not yet for us – or maybe to the North or Top of the Inner Circle wherever I am; or maybe I shall fail through forgetfulness and neglect of the symbols and archetypes who would help me.

[continues]

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{Recurring Image: Death and Dismemberment}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:28-30][19870326:1543j]{Recurring Image: Death and Dismemberment}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

After my arrival here, until Christmas (during which period the Wind hardly stopped) I had recurring images of my own death and dismemberment. These stopped at Christmas (as did the Wind), when I made a decision to stop worrying about property and money and 'go where I'm told' – an immense relief. (Not long afterwards it snowed heavily, and the Snow lay for some time). Since then I have tried to keep this phrase – “I'll go where I'm told” – in mind whenever financial and other insecurities lead me to plan too closely or two much in the way of possible earning activities which do not support what I write about.

I believe it is of crucial importance. I believe that at this Crisis I have the opportunity to cross from the Outer to the Inner Circle and change direction. Simplification (almost everything we own is in store and our business has shrunk to one small client) or “Death” (not literally, necessarily) (and hence the images) is the last station before the change. (If I planned too closely the rebuilding of our finances etc. – which I was doing in relation to Highland and Border properties – I should continue round the Outer Circle again.

I have planned virtually nothing in relation to the Welsh smallholding – not too much, I hope; although I may have got too bogged down in legal details, after leaving them alone at the start. I need to cross by the 'Water' to Love or Temperance, the girl from the Sea – cf. xS in “[2]”, and of course +K in “[0]”. Some Outer Circle movement may remain, I suppose; not too much, I hope. I need to pass in the contrary direction on the Inner Circle: back down toward the 'bottom' again, through Love, Revelation, Creation.... what happens then I do not know; if I have made the wrong decisions at this (Mid-life?) Crisis, I may never know. I suppose that the relative importance of of Inner and Outer Circles may change even after this point: to Outer, anyway, but I suspect not to Inner from Outer. I don't know. Writing “[2]”, and what has come out of it, encourages me a little; but a lot of what might have been in “[1]”, in terms of Stations (not in terms of the progress of the series), and a lot of where I believe myself to be now, have come out of “[2]”.

[continues]

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{Recurring Image: Pre-[xS]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:28][19870326:1543i]{Recurring Image: Pre-[xS]}[26^th March 1987]

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[continued]

Before I had seen things in this way, before I came to Scotland, for some months, I had a recurring image in which I was on the Highlands or Islands *coast and a blonde girl, the image of [xS] (and a very old figure from my imaginings) would climb naked from the Sea and talk to me.

*(West, almost for certain) <930120>

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{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation [continued(4)]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:27-28][19870326:1543h]{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation [continued(4)]}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

Geography following symbolism*: Scotland is my North or Top Point, my Crisis on this Circle. My progress to this point sets the course of my next ten books: two more on the introductory, observational circuit (like the last two); then eight (!) on the Outer Circle from Attraction (The Lovers) to Simplification (Death).**

*(but it doesn't always – don't take this literally) <0401>

**In fact experience suggests that the Crisis is a sector of several Crisis points, and that not all its manifestations (e.g. geographical, occupational) arrive simultaneously. <890929>

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{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation [continued(3)]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:27-28][19870326:1543g]{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation [continued(3)]}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

The 'Top' is the Crisis point, where “+C is” particularly – although here and everywhere “+C is Master”. But the movement of (or on) the Circles is engineered by the influence of +Mk at the 'Bottom' – where “+Mk stir” – in particular, “+Mk stir Crisis”, Crisis being brought about by the revolution of the Circle(s).  Hence:

“Mark stir Crisis;

Chris is Master;

Mark stir; Chris is,

Crisis Master.”

(+Mk is not the Crisis Master, as [the narrator] erroneously but understandably supposes in [0]; +C is. Crisis Master is, I suppose, as good a name for the game as any.)

Periodically we reach points of crisis, where crucial decisions can and must be made. We must recognise them. We may continue wholly or predominantly on the Outer Circle; or we may turn or pass wholly, predominantly, equally or in part on the inner Circle. (I do not know whether, or with what ease etc., this decision must be made on the Inner Circle at the same point: I have not been there, or at least not predominantly, so far as I know. I don't suppose I am particularly accurate or reliable about where I have been, or think I have.)

[continues]

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{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation [continued]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:26-27][19870326:1543f]{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation [continued]}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

For years I have been drawn to the North: geography corresponding with symbol. I have got here; and on the way here, and [being] here, I have learnt an immense amount about the forces that mould people who accept them. (There is, no doubt, more to learn.) The Circles operate together, symmetrically: I have described this, or something like it, before I understood it. They turn at the same rate in opposite directions, for any one series of stages (e.g. a Man's life, a particular project, the History of a Nation?). Both start at the 'Top' (e.g. North) simultaneously; the Outer turns one way through Action, the Inner turns the other way through Revelation; They pass each other at Distraction/Diversity; Outer returns through Revolution, Inner through Action; both meet at the 'Top' again.

[continues]

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{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:26][19870326:1543e]{Circles: Crisis and Contra-rotation}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

What have the Circles to do with this? They have imprinted themselves on my mind; and it may be that I am being driven to live out some of the symbols in my own courses of action, before I realise consciously that I am doing so. This does not testify to their validity, of course; merely to their strength. Validity might be suggested by correspondence with the lives of those who do not know about them; but if other and unrelated patterns could also be fitted to those lives, validity would seem less likely again.*

*(The definition of validity for dreams applies pretty well here too – see p21 [[Redbook3:20-21][19860907:0612p]{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(5)]}[7^th September 1986]] <19870331>)

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{The Round House [continued(3)]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:25-26][19870326:1543d]{The Round House [continued(3)]}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

The answer* can be seen – correctly or incorrectly – in the Circles. I realised this around Christmas time, when I made a conscious effort – 'I'll go where I'm told' – to stop willing a solution. On Christmas Eve I attended a service in the Church of Scotland here in [I], where the sermon suggested that someone in that very congregation might be refusing to let Christ into their lives. I had just 'wrestled' a solution of a sort to the dilemma of the property deal in London: having achieved a state where I believe I genuinely do not care about the money – although it is likely to prove the yardstick of repentance, or otherwise, I do not need it and will take it or leave it as circumstances suggest – I do care very much that my [father is] made to face the truth, and ha[s] no excuses for deceiving [himself]. Just before Christmas I sent off a statement of facts and conclusions to [him], and asked for [...] comments and corrections. Having sent that off, I felt relieved of a great burden of misconception.

Shortly after Christmas, quite unexpectedly, and without my notes etc. for it, which are in store, I began to write my [“2”] book. A few days into that we had a reply from the owners of the only Welsh smallholding that we had liked, and which had been re-advertised at Christmas – they had now included the part which had been left out – and we agreed informally to a purchase and sale. Legal details are still being sorted out three months later, but it seems quite possible that it will come to completion within the next couple of months(!)**. I still hanker after the Highlands, and hope to travel here, and perhaps one day to “retire” here; but I do not see how I can live here now.

*[To the question posed at the end of the last previous entry.]

**{12^th May, actually}

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{The Round House [continued]}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:24-25][19870326:1543c]{The Round House [continued]}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

Shortly before Christmas, we realised that everywhere we had chosen had turned out to be wrong for some reason: too much to do to it, not enough earning capacity, removed from the market, sold before we could offer, or (in many cases) Surveyors advised against it on particular or general grounds. I still felt that I was needed – or was needed – to be in the South: within reach of where things were happening. I felt that I was escaping too far too soon. I missed the trees. I felt that I was trying to impose my will against the proper course. Logic said we could not afford to settle here, where property prices, for what you get, are much higher than in many other hill areas, and where everything else costs more too. But logic often follows intuition, to justify it; and logic also asked: why bring me up here (of dreams, intuition etc.) only to send me back?

[continues]

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{The Round House}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:23-26][19870326:1543b]{The Round House}[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

No sooner had we reached the North of Scotland – the most northerly mainland point, that is – than I felt a strong urge to return South. After two days at Dunnet Bay we decided not to cross to Orkney, but to rent ([d] was walking for the first time and could neither walk properly nor sleep safely in the Land Rover [caravanette]). We drove South to [I] and rented [TC] – which I now know to mean 'The round house' in Gaelic: a converted nissen hut. We then started looking for a house to buy in Scotland (after our flying visit to Sussex, where we went down with colds). We have travelled all over Scotland's Highlands (and to the Borders) looking at properties, and looking generally.

From the beginning I was conscious that I still needed to go South. Naturally I took this for a sublimated homesickness. At a certain stage I thought of Wales, and sent for details: Wales attracted me; I wanted to go there. Then my Godfather [LN] died, in South Wales (Usk)*, and we drove to his funeral and looked at properties in South West Wales, where you get more for your money than in Scotland. We only liked one of them; as part of it had been left out of the sale, we decided against it. I had a dream in which 'spirit' voice(s)** sang over a Highland loch, but the voices cracked. My fault for being faithless: we returned to Scotland, and tried again.

*[On Newport Station, I think, waiting for the train home to Usk.]

**(or Gaelic female) <19870331>

[continues]

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{The Auditor's Daughter}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:22-23][19870326:1543]{The Auditor's Daughter}[26^th March 1987]

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(RECENT MOVEMENTS)

Later in September we flew down to the South to collect the [Fiat] Panda – among other things. I had reason to visit again the Auditor* who had lost his daughter, to collect some papers. Knowing that I was about to initiate an unpleasant interview with [...], re property deals etc., I was too distracted to pay proper attention to him as he referred to his daughter, whose photo now stood on his desk (it had not been there on my previous visit).

I left quickly; and after a few minutes driving home through the pretty woods west of Sevenoaks, the image of the young girl's face decided me to turn round and go back to her father, and ask for the cup of tea which I had refused earlier on. I tried in a limited way to explain why, and was I think to a limited extent understood; I do not really know whether my visit was helpful or not to him, but it certainly taught me yet another lesson (one which no doubt I shall have to learn again – and even that may not have been the first time.)

*[Redbook3:9-10][19860907:0612b]{A Dream: [(1)] The Bishop, the Priest and the Pale Spirit}[7^th September 1986]

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{Truth in Art}[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:22][19870326:1512]{Truth in Art}[26^th March 1987]

19870326.1512

(RE TRUTH, ART etc.)

Rereading the first entry in this Book Volume III* ... it seems clear that the Craftsman pursues the course mostly of the Outer Circle – Action first, in the sense of Will to Action (cf. Hitler?) – whereas the Artist pursues the course mostly of the Inner Circle – Revelation “before” Action, at least in terms of “causation”. This recognition arose out of the mention of each containing something of the other: i.e., as is usual, the circles revolve symmetrically and in complementary opposition. This might explain why the Craftsman can produce work of lasting value despite the ending* [sic] of the Outer Circle in Revolution: the value depending on the relative strength of the Inner Circle movement. Then again, it may be argued that Revolution itself need not always be negative, even for the person to whom it happens in a material sense?

{It also has Resonance of Revelation?}

*[Redbook3:1-5][19860325:0153] {TRUTH} [25^th March 1986] 

**[This interpretation later supplemented.]

 

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{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(5)]}[7th September 1986]

[Redbook3:20-21][19860907:0612p]{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(5)]}[7^th September 1986]

19860907.0612

[continued]

It might be time to define a couple of terms relating to dreams. By 'significant', of a dream, I mean having a sense of significance during its existence, which is impossible to describe, but which clearly sets it apart from ordinary dreams not having that sense of significance*. By 'valid', of a dream, I mean having (or seeming to have) validity in relation to the waking World by being directly or symbolically referable to identifiable matters of that waking World, without contradiction of that waking World.

*The sense of significance is always the same sense of significance.

(That's enough dreams – Ed.)

(19870331: This sense of significance is of the order, I think, of (or similar to) (or derived from) an inner quality (see later).)

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{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(4)]}[7th September 1986]

[Redbook3:20][19860907:0612o]{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(4)]}[7^th September 1986]

19860907.0612

[continued]

A similar event quite definitely caused resentment and also illustrates the difficulty of separating significant dreams and some waking states: I have mentioned this at least once before [in this journal]. On the basis of growing misgivings, I once (and once only) read Tarots for the future*; and advised my mother not to got to Rhodesia with my [youngest] sister [L].

On the strength of this my father advised her not to go. She cancelled her trip; some days before she would have gone, she went to hospital with stomach problems: which in fact sorted themselves out, but only did so because one of the best surgeons available had the confidence not to operate. Had she held to her plan, the trouble could well have been postponed (as illnesses often are) until she relaxed – after arrival; had she been taken ill in Rhodesia, the chances are that she would have had the major operation in a relatively primitive country.

But some time later, she expressed her resentment that I had advised her against going, and that nothing had happened in Rhodesia when she would have been there.

*[[Redbook2:185-186][19810628:2240]{A Tarot Reading}[28^th June 1981]]

[continues]

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{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(3)]}[7th September 1986]

[Redbook3:19-20][19860907:0612n]{Dreams and Prophecies [continued(3)]}[7^th September 1986]

19860907.0612

[continued]

I have experience of this* myself: some years ago I had a vivid dream** about waiting outside a hospital*** door, from which my father came to say: '[B] is dead. They let him out too soon.' (Many years before this my father had told me of his experience with army motorcyclists who were let out too soon after training, became overconfident, and killed themselves).

To the best of my recollection, the point of this is was that [B] was in fact about to buy a motor-cycle; but that I did not know this until a few days after the dream. When I did know, I mentioned this to my mother, who told my father, who spoke to [B] about the dangers, but advised against mentioning the dream. [B] was not killed or injured, and I sometimes wonder whether this [incident] helped to destroy my credibility with my parents and even contributed to the[...] shameful treatment of us over the flat; but of course the point is that I had the dream before I knew of the motorcycle (if my memory is correct) and that the dream as a warning may have served its purpose.

*[See last previous entry]

**[[Redbook2:333-334][19840515:1715b]{A Dream – of Warning? – Let Out Too Soon}[15^th May 1984]]

***{assumed to be a hospital}

[continues]

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{Dreams and Prophecies [continued]}[7th September 1986]

[Redbook3:18-19][19860907:0612m]{Dreams and Prophecies [continued]}[7^th September 1986]

19860907.0612

[continued]

Logical problems occur with the validity of dreams when conclusions (or information) are presented by the dream but derived from information not available to the dreamer's normal waking mind. The borderline* is often more difficult to define in practice than one might expect. From my own experience (supported by the recounted experiences of others) I am inclined to think that this does happen (with validity in terms of the waking world order) but I cannot show evidence of any particular mechanism to make it possible.

What I can do is to offer a solution to two problems over 'prophetic' dreams, the predestination objection and the false prophecy problem. The first objection is that a prophetic dream implies a fixed future. It is quite possible that the future is fixed from a viewpoint outside Time but fluid from a viewpoint within Time; but apart from this, it is possible that prophetic dreams are warnings of a future that may happen rather than one that will. This would also account for false prophecies, and the two problems would cancel each other out.

*(i.e. between information available to the dreamer's waking mind, and information not so available)

[continues]

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{Dreams and Prophecies}[7th September 1986]

[Redbook3:18-21][19860907:0612l]{Dreams and Prophecies}[7^th September 1986]

19860907.0612

[continued]

It is perhaps worth stating (or re-stating) my views about these dreams; these views are likely to change. I am fairly certain that the dreams provide a form of access to parts of the Mind to which it is difficult to obtain access during normal waking life. What these parts of the Mind are, and what is the validity of their insights, is not certain. The access seems to be under the control (if that is the right word) of the parts of the mind accessed, or at least not of the normal waking mind.

Conclusions arrived at in, or as a result of, such dreams are likely to be presented in symbolic terms. Where they are arrived at solely as a result of knowledge possessed by (or through) the normal waking mind, no logical problem arises in accepting their validity: where the conclusions are verifiable in the short-term, many people have attested to the success of this process (not least scientists)*. This does not mean, of course, that they have to be right; merely that they often are.

*e.g. the structure of Benzene? <930120>

[continues]

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