{Tested Again [continued (10)]}[29th March 1990]

[Redbook7:110-111][19900329:1440]{Tested Again [continued (10)]}[29th March 1990]

.1440

In retrospect, I suspect that I do owe my rejection* mainly to questions of the Evangelical-type ‘smooth’ priests, mostly on the other side of the table) and of course to my answers to them: the misunderstandings of language and concept which can arise between different states** and temperaments of the religious mind are familiar to me from my fundamentalist acquaintance of a couple of years back.***

But in another sense I let down the friendly, hairy faces on my side of the table,**** who on at least two occasions gave me cues to describe my spiritual journey (based on item 24 on my form)# which I did not follow up – except in the most literal or superficial way. The decision to do this was not conscious: it was made, I believe, at an unconscious level and was predicted by the final paragraph of that very item (24).#

Any kind of ‘Revelation’ [sic] – using the word in its broadest sense – depends critically on the condition of Source, Medium and Recipient (whether or not these are separate); and the members of this committee were certainly#* not ‘all of a reasonably like mind to each other’.#**

But I am sorry, remembering the slightly embarrassed silence of two of these friendly questioners when I had finished answering their questions (or rather, not answering their questions, except in the most literal sense).

#***

*[See [Redbook7:104-114][19900328:1738]{Tested Again}[25th March 1990]ff]

**[Or possibly ‘stages’; ms unclear]

***[[Redbook5:52][19880314:1115b]{Fundamental Points of View [continued]}[14th March 1988]ff, &c]

****{These possibly were the ex-Evangelicals (see [[Redbook7:104-114][19900328:1738]{Tested Again}[25th March 1990]] 105, n=****)}

#ref [[Redbook7:44-53][19900214:1100d]{Form MC/PS/90/1: Be My Valentine}[14th February 1990]] 50. [Item 24 is a page of the application form inviting a list of influential events, to which the writer responded with a brief theoretical summary but declined to set out the spiritual map of his own life on paper, for three specific reasons.]

#*Sure? <900401>

#**ref [[Redbook7:44-53][19900214:1100d]{Form MC/PS/90/1: Be My Valentine}[14th February 1990]] 50.

[The proviso the writer had stated in the last paragraph of item 24 (see fn=# above) for discussing the spiritual map of his own life with a committee]

#***{See also VIII. [] 136}

[continues]

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