{Searching for the Word to manifest the Spirit}[30th June 1989]

[Redbook6:139][19890630:2308b]{Searching for the Word to manifest the Spirit}[30th June 1989]

19890630.2308

[continued]

If it is not my place to pronounce on the accuracy or otherwise of the words I say* – if the authority of the words is the words themselves** – and if any belief concerning their origin is ruled out by the danger to my own psychic balance and detachment: why do I bother to study so many subjects, excellence in which is so far beyond my capabilities?*** – Because ever since I can remember, I have known that I have something to say, and have been trying to find out what it was: have been searching for the words which I must speak; have been conscious of the urgent need to learn the terms in which I can express the knowledge which bubbles up out of me, or else it destroy me.****

The key to this discovery, however, is not study, but the denial of the Self: its suppression, subjugation, although all these words have shades of meaning which mislead. Perhaps a better expression would be the abnegation of the self, although even fewer people would then understand what we [sic] were trying to express.

*{IV. [[Redbook4:48-49][19870730:0010]{“Speak!”}[30^th July 1987],] 48[;]

V. [[Redbook5:35][19880304:1835f]{The Beginning and the End}[3rd March 1988],] 35,

[[Redbook5:125-126][19880527:2240d]{Speak!}[27th May 1988]], 125[;]

[[Redbook6:297][19891006:1513]{Speaking of [O]}[6th October 1989],] 297}

**[‘”... the authority of the answers is the answers themselves." [xS] replied. "If the answer does not carry its own authority to the questioner, then they are not fit for each other, and he had better disregard it."’ (– [2] (subject to revision))]

***[cf [Redbook6:93)][19890121:1750b]{A Dream: Of a Useless Occupation [continued]}[21st January 1989]]

****I believe that I am coming close to this.

[– Learning the terms, presumably, not destruction]

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