(DEVELOPMENT [continued(5)])[29th March 1987]

[Redbook3:59][19870329:1210h](DEVELOPMENT [continued(5)])[29^th March 1987]

19870329.1210(BST)

[continued]

I can remember one particular morning at [C] – at [C] and on [the] Hill I used to pass at times into an ecstatic, almost trance-like state of inward and outward awareness among the hills, trees and Sky: I am not sure when that was, but probably between about early? or mid? 1970s to about 1980-1982. During these moments I would occasionally become intensely aware of the underlying unity of it all, in a spiritual and Wordsworthian sense*.

But at one moment – and I think there was only one – I became suddenly and intensely aware of a Divine sense, separate from and within my own, looking out on the World through my eyes, so that my eyes were informing two awarenesses. Not for one moment did this feel like Schizophrenia: the awarenesses were not side by side, but concentric, and the Divine sense, although separately identifiable, did not give me any sense of needing to protect my individuality from it; it might well have known all there was to know of me, and I felt that I knew, or experienced, something of its quality.** If I remember rightly, this happened while I was looking out from my attic front room*** window at [C].****

*['And I have felt

A presence that disturbs me with the joy

Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime

Of something far more deeply interfused,

Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,

And the round ocean, and the living air,

And the blue sky, and in the mind of man,

A motion and a spirit, that impels

All thinking things, all objects of all thought,

And rolls through all things. Therefore am I still

A lover of the meadows and the woods,

And mountains....'

(William Wordsworth, from

'Lines written a few miles above Tintern Abbey,

on revisiting the banks of the Wye during a tour,

July 13, 1798.')]

**[It is perhaps appropriate to point out here that if the model which is set out in this journal is valid, the experience described in this paragraph should be potential within everyone. <20151130>]

***(Now my younger sister [L]'s.) <930112>

****{Possibly not.}

I do not feel that any of these states are described exactly in Vols I-II – perhaps for the same reason as given in the note (of 870815) to p113 [of this Volume III]. <870816>

[continues]

[PostedBlogger30112015]