(PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL [continued])[26th March 1987]

[Redbook3:33-34][19870326:1543o](PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNAL [continued])[26^th March 1987]

.1543

[continued]

At this point I have begun to be more than usually self-conscious. I believe that I should be rather disappointed if I knew that no one else were ever to read my books (i.e. fictions): although I use them to discover matters of interest to myself, which I believe I should not have discovered in any other way even to myself [sic], they are designed to be of use and interest to other readers, and I hope that some day they will be. I believe, though, that at this stage I should continue to write those books (with a small 'b')* even if it was proved that no one else would read them – because they serve a purpose to** me: not just self-discovery, but discovery. I believe*** I should.

But this Book (with a big 'B' – of which this is “Volume III”) is written to suit me and I don't care a jot if no one reads it, even though I am sometimes pulled up a bit short or otherwise influenced by the thought that someone might. Its format and purpose vary. I vaguely recall (Vols I* & II are in store in Ealing) that I did start this Book as a diary and social commentary, but it didn't last long. Stray thoughts continued: mostly, I seem to remember at that early stage, about my Self and my Troubles. Political and philosophical ideas, I recall, became predominant; after a while these came full circle (?) to a form of “philosophical” system(s) using myself and my life as a primary exemplar (?), but dealing also with persons and matters other than myself, both in the specific terms of this “philosophy”, and in more general comment (I don't think the Circles have quite taken over yet, although they may). It is possible that the use of myself will decrease.

*[i.e., presumably, fictions]

**{for?}

***[Underlining inserted later]

****[And presumably Volume 0, which does not seem to have been considered to be part of the series at this time.]

[continues]

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