(DEVELOPMENT [continued(4)])[29th March 1987]

[Redbook3:58-59][19870329:1210g](DEVELOPMENT [continued(4)])[29^th March 1987]

19870329.1210(BST)

[continued]

Wandering through the streets of London, during holidays or vacations, I would sometimes pass into a phase or condition of intense love in a diffuse and general sense, associated with, I think, a heightened awareness of movement, colours, sound etc. over the whole field of each sense (but without suffering, as I did much later, from a battering on the senses by too much stimulation). Some of this loopiness must have been apparent in my expression: people used to stare at me in the street. When I picked this out [sic], my mood would change to one of less diffusion, greater concentration: then people would not stare at me. 

I think that the last period during which I remember this sort of thing happening was as late as 1982, when I was employed in Knightsbridge and used to walk home from work: by that time, however, the inner attention was occupied less by inner love of the world around me (I don't mean that earlier on I 'loved the world' in a material sense, but in a 'religious' sense: I did not want it for myself, but in a way wanted myself to be for it) – at the later stage, inner visions and sounds related to what I was writing filled my attention; but people still stared at me.

[continues]

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