[Redbook3:59-60][19870329:1210j](DEVELOPMENT
[continued(6)])[29th
March 1987
19870329.1210(BST)
[continued]
It
is perhaps unsurprising that I came to think I was pretty
significant: it is extraordinarily difficult for the normal person
within the normal World to distinguish the significance of his
experience from the significance (or rather, insignificance) of
himself, especially when everyone he speaks to about it at first
greets it with blank incomprehension. I started attending talks by a
Sufi, and by the School of Economic Science in Kensington. The
trouble was that I was more than half convinced that I should be
teaching them: that I had done it all; although gradually a sneaking
sense that perhaps I was only at the beginning, grew, and eventually
prevailed, and even before this a (quite proper) lack of confidence
prevented me from holding forth in public. It is understandable:
early experiences are so intense that it is hard for the tyro to
imagine that there is more. But there is. It is hard for him to
accept that he must give all this up. But he must, I believe, if he
is to continue to develop.
[continues]
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