(DEVELOPMENT [continued])[29th March 1987]

[Redbook3:55-56][19870329:1210e](DEVELOPMENT [continued])[29^th March 1987]

19870329.1210(BST)

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More significant [sic], I had the experience which I now understand to be quite common among youngsters, of wondering whether I was special in some quasi-messianic sense (I have recently thought that if I or anyone else* in the future were to attach undue significance to that, or inflate me in similar ways, I should simply point out that I have apparently incurable piles – I'm not sure how to spell the medical term – and leave it at that). It is worth considering this form of experience and wondering why it is common and, in some cases, long-lasting. Tentatively, I suggest that it may be the expression of an early and unconscious recognition of the Spirit of God within each of us, manifesting itself in recognisable human form as the Archetype Christ. It is not often easy for youngsters to distinguish different aspects within themselves: each of them will appear to be 'me'. Some adults, of course, believe themselves to be Christ, or Napoleon, or Hitler: we generally classify them as insane, since it is obvious to us that they are not what they think they are.

I went on occasionally wondering if I was special in that quasi-messianic sense for long enough for it to become worrying**. When, if I remember rightly, I was about sixteen or seventeen at [my secondary school], it seemed obvious that this was just an attempt by a schoolboy who was not too good at work, games or other people, to restore the balance in his own favour. I embarrassed myself by it. I now think that my tentative suggestion of recognition is by far the better explanation.

*[Hope springs....]

**Not the question, but the fact of asking – was worrying at the time. <930122>

[It is worth bearing in mind too the likely effect on impressionable young minds of the emphasis laid by Christianity on the inner or spiritual realisation of Christ as a person by the Individual. Christian worship and teaching were typically taken fairly seriously at private schools at that time. <20151126>]

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