{Time and Fatigue [continued (3)]}[2nd February 1990]

[Redbook7:33-34][19900202:1018e]{Time and Fatigue [continued (3)]}[2nd February 1990]

19900202:1018

[continued]

I guess the reason* why I don’t go to bed at a reasonable time, despite often being crashingly [sic] tired, is because I am consciously or unconsciously aware that I have not used enough of the day as I should – that even now, my life is not sufficiently in balance as between the inner realm and the outer world.

This has partly to do with the children; partly to do with being married (but both of these have outweighing compensations); partly to do with the constant and unaccountable drain of money, which I find hard to understand; partly with the tasks of a smallholding (a ‘tinyholding’?). It might even have something to do with having set myself a programme for another language as well as the Welsh course and Bible reading: so that these right-semicircle tasks take priority, and I may never get to the left-semicircle intuition, inspiration, innovation. I suppose the combined effects of all these would be a strong U~ influence.

.1500

The relatively small amount of work** – which tends to come in bursts – doesn’t help either.

*[See last previous entry but one]

**[ie ‘work work’ – provision of services, earning money]

[continues]

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