{3 Dreams: of Railway Stations}[18th February 1990]

[Redbook7:59-63][19900218:2257]{3 Dreams: of Railway Stations}[18th February 1990]

.2257

Dreamt this morning about (inter alia) missing (or having missed) the bus back to London; taking a bus instead to a country town’s railway junction station (Chivening? Chevenham?); finding there a complicated layout of (covered) lines and platforms, from which a train back to London seemed to be indicated; wandering briefly with someone else away from these platforms to the high-speed avoiding lines on the left (which were at a lower level), and along them a little way, but (leaving him to continue?) myself returning through the subway and back to the platforms; (either before or after that excursion) seeing a preserved steam train emerge from an underground line and platform to move off, apparently to the right; finally, I think, finding on a timetable a train (or bus) which would deliver me to some point in the suburbs of London, which might or might not be sufficient.

*

*ref II. [[Redbook2:341-343][19840702:0830]{A Dream: The Right Lines}[2nd July1984],] 341

(8407);

V. [[Redbook5:182-183][19880620:0000b[?]]{Dream: of a Re-opened Railway}[20^th June 1988],] 182

(8806)

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{Entering the Lists [continued (5)]}[18th February 1990]

[Redbook7:58][19900218:2143c]{Entering the Lists [continued (5)]}[18th February 1990]

19900218.2143

[continued]

That* being so, there is really no more to be said: other than that I shall continue to write whatever – fiction or non-fiction – answers my requirements at any time, and anyone can read it who is interested. Pushing books at publishers is a kind of forcing,** and for as long as I can remember I have disliked doing it.

*[See last previous entry]

**[See earlier vols eg [Redbook2:243-244][19820813:1945c]{Forcing}[13^th August 1982] &

[Redbook2:246][19820912:1015]{Forcing (2)}[12^th September 1982];

[Redbook4:39-43][19870712:1000g]{Research and Development}[12^th July 1987];

[Redbook4:153][19871119:2312]{Methodology: Points Arising}[19^th November 1987]]

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{Entering the Lists [continued (4)]}[18th February 1990]

[Redbook7:57-58][19900218:2143b]{Entering the Lists [continued (4)]}[18th February 1990]

19900218.2143

[continued]

So what is left?*

Well, apart from the writing of fiction as a method of discovery – which may no longer be necessary for discovery, as I am living in a far more integrated fashion now and have discovered much through ** note-writing in this book (although not perhaps the subtle unconscious nuances *** of characterisation by degree uncovered in (eg) [2]) – all that is left to justify publication is the desire to share with others something of the quality of experience discovered in writing the fiction, and which I hope they will experience through the reading of it.

****

It seems fairly clear that to the extent that I have conveyed this quality of inner experience – and the indications are that I have to a significant extent – other people, by and large, do not want to share it.

- - - -

Those few who are positively moved by something at least of the quality of the experience do not, it seems, retain the memory of it for long in the bustle of everyday life – and that is something I can understand, since the same thing happens to me.# The majority, I think it is, suffer from a negative reaction – they are stirred to hostility and even aggression by their experience of the book.

*[See last 3 previous entries, [Redbook7:55-58][19900217:1832]{Entering the Lists}[17th February 1990]ff]

**{reading and}

***{!}

****(I am very tired – too tired to write?)

#[eg [Redbook7:3][19891231:1830b]{A Secular Church in a Religious World (1) [continued]}[31st December 1989],ff; & esp [Redbook7:4-5][19900102:1308]{A Secular Church in a Religious World (2)}[2nd January 1990]]

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{Entering the Lists [continued (3)]}[18th February 1990]

[Redbook7:57][19900218:2143]{Entering the Lists [continued (3)]}[18th February 1990]

19900218.2143

I believe that when I first started writing, in my late teens, I thought that I might earn fame, fortune and an easy life as a writer. I soon realised that fortune, even a living, was extra-ordinarily unlikely; later, that I was unhappy about the consequences of fame; and most recently, that although the intense periods of writing have had an [sic] unique and extraordinary quality, the long periods in between (in the absence of any other activity) would be not so much easy as uneasy (According to BBC(?)* TV’s Arena yesterday (or Friday?), Graham Greene suffers greatly from boredom – and I can believe it).

*[Yes]

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{Entering the Lists [continued]}[17th February 1990]

[Redbook7:56][19900217:1832b]{Entering the Lists [continued]}[17th February 1990]

19900217.1832

[continued]

What comes across strongly from these letters* is that whether they like the book or not – and one or two of the better-known publishers apparently* did – for none of them does it fit: it’s not conventional enough.

The last letter, which just about puts the cap on it, strongly suggests why:

(1) It doesn’t fit into a compartment recognised by the publishers[;] and

(2) They probably don’t understand what it’s about anyway.**

Anyone who could call [2] a cocktail of anything and spiritualism, if the religious meaning is intended, either hasn’t read the book properly or is ignorant on matters of religion; but if the philosophical meaning of spiritualism is intended, the position is even worse than I thought, since it appears that such a system or theory is no longer legitimate and cannot (as it has to be) be ‘grounded’ in any specific context (such as a University).

The letter has another unfortunate ambiguity: does ‘rather unhappy’ refer to the defects of the cocktail or to the atmosphere of the book?

But there it is: it’s not really important any more.

*[See last previous entry, including final fn – [W] had submitted the ts as if from a literary agent, hoping thereby to have a better chance of (a) getting read, and (b) getting a considered and truthful, not merely anodyne, reaction.]

**[So whose fault is that?]

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{Entering the Lists}[17th February 1990]

[Redbook7:55-58][19900217:1832]{Entering the Lists}[17th February 1990]

19900217.1832

‘... Your novel has been considered by several colleagues here. We enjoyed reading it, but I’m afraid that in the * we didn’t feel it could be something for this list. (– Fabers). ‘Our readers enjoyed the unusual approach of this book and thought it well written, with moments of sparkle.** Ultimately, however, we are not convinced it is one that would work for us.... (– Bloomsbury). ‘... I do not think this book is suitable for the Headline list. We are a highly commercial publisher and […] Hunter’s book sits in that rather uneasy category of ‘general fiction’ in which it is notoriously difficult to publish successfully. I’m sorry about this but much appreciate your sending it to us.’*** (– Headline). Century Hutchinson sent a postcard; Duckworth’s letter must have been standard – ‘... this is not something that would fit into our publishing list....’ – likewise Jonathan Cape / The Bodley Head: ‘it does not fit happily onto our present list.’)

And today? ‘Dear [W], Thank you for sending me [2] by […] Hunter. I’m afraid this won’t be one for me; I found it a rather unhappy cocktail of campus novel and spiritualism. I think the author would be better off along more straightforward lines. I wish you better luck with another publisher.’ (– George Weidenfield & Nicholson Limited).

*end? <920920>

**(Hmm....)

***[[W] had submitted the ts as if from a literary agent, hoping thereby to have a better chance of (a) getting read, and (b) getting a considered and truthful, not merely anodyne, reaction.]

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{Yahweh Reflector}[14th February 1990]

[Redbook7:54][19900214:2213]{Yahweh Reflector}[14th February 1990]

.2213

‘... Yahweh your God is the true God, the faithful God who, though he is true to his covenant and his faithful love for a thousand generations as regards those who love him and keep his commandments, punishes in their own persons those that hate him. He destroys anyone who hates him, without delay;* and it is in their own person that he punishes them.’

ie Yahweh Reflector – cf the [O] in ex […] (II, ex III).

*or, ‘without looking for anyone else’.

D[eu]t[eronomy] 7:7-10 (N[ew] J[erusalem] B[ible])

{cf [[Redbook7:104-][19900328:1738]{Tested Again}[28th March 1990], at [19900329:1440#,] 111-112}

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{Macedonian Circles}[14th February 1990]

[Redbook7:54][19900214:2159]{Macedonian Circles}[14th February 1990]

.2159

Interested to see on BBC2’s ‘Chronicle’ [TV] programme this evening the Macedonian ‘sunburst’ device on the funerary goods of King Philip II of Macedon, father of Alexander the Great:

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{Form MC/PS/90/1: Be My Valentine}[14th February 1990]

[Redbook7:44-53][19900214:1100d]{Form MC/PS/90/1: Be My Valentine}[14th February 1990]

19900214.(1100c)

[continued]

[W] has just taken to the post my form MC/PS/90/1:*

*[The Registration Form for the Provincial Selection Panel and the Provincial Selection Board for Ordination Candidates, which is photocopied at pp 45-53 of the ms but is not reproduced here]

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{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (2) [continued (3)]}[14th February 1990]

[Redbook7:44][19900214:1100c]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (2) [continued (3)]}[14th February 1990]

19900214.(1100c)

[continued]

The second* 4-year cycle of those 8 years is the current one:

This is, I hope, a predominantly inner-dominated circle and will resolve the 32-year (and 16-year) crisis in favour of inner-circle predominance for those periods as well – although of course the first 4-year period is ½, not just ¼, of the 8-year period just completed.

*[See last previous entry]

{ → [[Redbook7:64-65][19900219:1037#]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (3)}[19th February 1990],] 64}

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{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (2) [continued]}[14th February 1990]

[Redbook7:43-44][19900214:1100b]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (2) [continued]}[14th February 1990]

19900214.(1100c)

[continued]

The idea for the flat* first surfaced, I think, in 1980, and got under way at the end of 1981 / beginning of (and during) 1982: it was therefore (if my memory is correct) well placed to spin me on round the circle. It was a very narrow decision, to buy or not to buy; at one time I decided not to. My motives for buying were mixed.**

The first 4-year cycle may be about the flat.

I could probably have pulled out with relatively little financial loss until the business got under way in 1983.

This also, as it happens, covers the main period of activity of our little computing business: started Dec[ember 19]82 / Jan[uary 19]83; 1^st client c May 1983; decision to ‘wind down’ c1985? (ref Vol II entry);*** by c.start of 1987, only one client left with us.

*[See last previous entry]

**[& included the fact that without the money from the sale of the basement to the writer, his father could not have afforded to buy the freehold of his long-leasehold house, and had no other way to raise the money as the bank would not lend him any more and an unconverted basement was not marketable; and the writer’s mother’s fears of being physically attacked by the writer’s father, as had already happened: he had broken her nose with a karate chop, resulting in hospital treatment.]

***ref II …. [cf eg [Redbook2:337-338][19840630:1315]{Plans}[30^th June 1984];

[Redbook2:361-363][19850531:1038f]{A Dream: The Mouth of Hell [continued(4)]}[31st May 1985]]

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{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (2)}[14th February 1990]

[Redbook7:43-44][19900214:1100]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (2)}[14th February 1990]

19900214.(1100c)

*If individual lives work on fairly precise mathematical intervals – bearing in mind the effects of ‘spread’ and ‘lag’ – and my ‘Mid(-outward-)life crisis’ was at 32, what sort of cycle covers the period since then?

**

Well, I have said that in terms of the 32-year cycle the period represents the ‘resolution’ phase of the crisis at 32, in 1983 (when I left my job and had intended to become much more of a ‘free spirit’, writing, publishing, etc but got sucked instead into the demands of the computing business – and the flat).*** I had also thought of a ‘lag’ from the previous 32-year cycle following until now (or recently), and this may be correct; but a better way of seeing it is as an 8-year cycle covering the first quarter of the subsequent 32-year cycle, and concerned with its resolution.

*[[Redbook7:22-30][19900129:0118]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (1)}[29th January 1990], at [Redbook7:29-30][19900129:0118m]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (1) [continued (13)]}[29th January 1990],] 30 →

**ref [[Redbook7:22-30][19900129:0118]{Crisis Resolution in Personal Cycles (1)}[29th January 1990],] 22ff

***[See many previous entries, IIIff]

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{Fascism in Action}[11th February 1990]

 [Redbook7:42][19900211:2049]{Fascism in Action}[11th February 1990]

19900211.2049

‘Fascism was not a creed: it was action. To explain it to generations which never knew it, there is no use referring them to books. We have to show them films, especially “The Triumph of the Will”. Hitler focused and expressed this feeling with fully daemonic genius.’*

[Text extracted from ms diagram reproduced above:]

			C
			Attraction
			|
			Unity	S~	Ordination
					(Command	& Control)
G~		–	+	–	Outward	M~
(Left)					Action	(Right)
			|

*Michael Howard, reviewing Modris Eksteins, ‘Rites of Spring: The Great War and the birth of the Modern age’, T[imes] L[iterary] S[upplement] 19900209-15, 138.

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