{Student Teacher}[5th January 1988]

[Redbook4:290-293][19880105:1222]{Student Teacher}[5th January 1988]

19880105.1252

Yesterday evening (and through the night until about 6 a.m.) I explained the Circles (i.e. Principles)*, Tarot and Zodiac to [SX] (touching upon other aspects, e.g. Statistical Occupations). He is the first person apart from [W] that I have explained it to: I started with the Tarot[,] as I knew he had an interest, but ended with only the Circles. Considering the circumstances, it was a surprisingly unfraught experience for me.

With devilish perception, one of the first points he raised went straight for the matter of the moment: what (he asked) are the relationships: [#]

				|
	{	─\	─	┼	─	/─	}
	{	│	\	|	/	│	}
[#]→	{	│	─	┼	─	│	}	←[#]
	{	│	/	|	\	│	}
	{	─/	─	┼	─	\─	}
				|

[The vertical gap or space from top to bottom to the right of the centre has been introduced by Blogger and is not a part of the ms diagram, which is symmetrical on vertical and horizontal axes, or the ts representation of it, which is supposed to be.]

I presume (now) that as the upper and lower horizontal relationships are related to the central one,** so the right and left vertical relationships are related to their central one (+C†I~ to A~).***

*[Presumably including Outer (Principles) & Inner.]

**([[Redbook4:289-290][19880104:1622h]{Opposites (2) [continued (3)]}[4th January 1988],] p290)

***& diagonal, etc.? <880108.0130>

{(ref [[Redbook4:294][19880106:0100]{Opposites (3)}[6th January 1988],] p294,****

[[Redbook4:301][19880109:1445]{Opposites (4)}[9th January 1988],] 301)}

****19880108.0118[:]

[A very small, very rough diagram in the ms at p294 shows the 8 cardinal/diagonal points of an invisible circle with three parallel straight lines linking respectively the highest (cardinal) point to the left-most (cardinal) point; the upper-right diagonal point to the lower left diagonal point; and the right-most (cardinal) point to the lowest (cardinal) point. ]

See p291, note)

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{Opposites (2) [continued (3)]}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:289-290][19880104:1622h]{Opposites (2) [continued (3)]}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

I guess that the Inner Diametric relationship is complementary; the radial relationship moves from Inner to Outer, becoming more extreme, so that the Outer Diametric relationship is antagonistic.

This immediately tells us something about the effect of radial distance from the Centre, which (as in the spectrum Spirit-Soul-Brain/Body(-)) does seem to show the relationship of Singularity/Centre/One[,] to Separation. This means that the vertical polarity must be something different, embodying the contrasts Attraction/Distraction, Unity/Diversity, White/Black, ?Good/Evil, etc.. I guess that Unity – Diversity is the best description, being a more generalised description than the others, in fact almost mathematical. Its similarity to the radial factor One → Separation simply shows the nearness of +C†I~ to the One – the skewed cone* again.**

There are also matching pairs, horizontal, moving vertically down the Circles (i.e. chord relationships of a particular kind): the inner pairs being (as it were) 'friendly', the outer [pairs] (as it were) 'unfriendly'. This is similar to complementary and antagonistic*** (Inner and Outer Diametric relationship): for M~-G~, of course, the relationships are of both kinds at once:

	│
\─	┼	─/
\	│	/
────	┼	────
/	│	\
/─	┼	─\
	│

[The ms diagram has joined-up lines and is not vertically elongated by comparison with the horizontal length.]

*[[Redbook3:211-214][19870419:1050h](THE STRUCTURE OF TOTALITY)[19th April 1987]ff]

**[[Redbook4:288-289][19880104:1622f]{Opposites (2)}][4th January 1988]]

***[Ref 1^st para above]

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{Opposites (2) [continued]}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:289][19880104:1622g]{Opposites (2) [continued]}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

It is possible loosely to characterise the horizontal polarity as Feminine – Masculine (with cautions), and the vertical as (say) Union(?) - Separation(??)* (?or Plurality) (the Centre being Singularity, with which Union is close but not identical). But looking at it another way, the best vertical description is the Inner pair – Unity – Diversity – and the best horizontal description is the Inner pair Revelation – Inner Action. It should be possible to describe the diagonal relationships** in terms other than those of their Principles.***

*(No – see next [entry, 1^st (& ts 2^nd?)] para.)

**[i.e. presumably, relationships diagonally across the Circles.]

***[Possibly intended here to mean the Outer Circle diagonal points, i.e. Ordination, Complication, Fragmentation, Simplification.]

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{Opposites (2)}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:288-290][19880104:1622f]{Opposites (2)}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

Returning* to the types of 'opposites' (that is, of course, the 'opposites' of types) – so far (from the Horsemen)** we seem to have got something like this:

(Outer Circle)			(Inner Circle)
/			/
X	….	….	X
\			\

– no, I have started this wrong!

The problem is that different tendencies operate in different directions across the Circles. I suspect that it is only by taking these into account that one can begin to understand, first, the radial and diametric relationships (i.e. along lines through the centre); and, then, the “circumferential” and chord relationships (i.e. along lines across the Circles but not through the centre) (Outer lines are beyond my range at present, if they exist).

The words used for these relationships are necessarily vague and imprecise as we do not have the proper words for these concepts. But, basically (and as I have mentioned before, I think), the radial relationship between a point on the Inner Circle and the same point on the Outer Circle is the relationship of Inner and Outer aspects of the same quality [sic].

But this is complicated by the orientation of the line. Inner – Outer is similar to Union – Separation, but not quite the same: this unsolved (by me) confusion accounts for the idea of the Skewed Cone.*** 

*[Ref [Redbook4:286-287][19880103:1211g]{Opposites (1)}[3rd January 1988]]

**[Ref [Redbook4:285-286][19880103:1211f]{The Christmas Horseman}[3rd January 1988].]

***III.[[Redbook3:211-214][19870419:1050h](THE STRUCTURE OF TOTALITY)[19th April 1987]ff]

{Compare T:AS,ACl.}{=} [Possibly 'Tarot: Ace of Spades, Ace of Clubs'.]

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{Marital Crisis}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:287][19880104:1622e]{Marital Crisis}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

[SX]* came to stay yesterday, the day after his wife [Y] had asked him for a divorce. This** was not unexpected, at least by [W] and myself.

*[One of s's godfathers, and a former member of MI6]

**[The request, or at least the likelihood of divorce, presumably.]

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{The Flat}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:287][19880104:1622d]{The Flat}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

Also, since Christmas or thereabouts, I have thought far less, and far less intensely, about the problem with my parents.*  (This could change, of course: I may well be sensitive to external influence on this).

*[See various earlier entries in this and the previous volume.]

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{The [W] Chorus}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:287][19880104:1622c]{The [W] Chorus}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

Within a few days before Christmas, I think it was, [W] in the kitchen asked me one evening whether I had briefly turned on the radio, as she had heard clearly the sound of a choir (I have the impression of male as well as female voices, but this may be my description not hers). Anyway, I had not.

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{The Itch (5)}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:287][19880104:1622b]{The Itch (5)}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

[continued]

On the subject of Christmas: just before Christmas (at about the time when I consciously set up a request within my mind to re-open my mind to dreams etc. – with some success) I began to be (and have been ever since) intermittently aware of that strange itch in a spot just above and between the eyes – straight above the nose – more-or-less between the eyebrows – which I experienced some years ago.* There is nothing to show there.

*ref II [[Redbook2:201-202][19810914:1900]{Physical Signs}[14^th September 1981];

[Redbook2:208][19811017:0915]{The Itch}[17^th October 1981];

[Redbook2:280][19830516:1945]{The Itch (2)}[16^th May 1983];

[Redbook2:313][19831025:2300]{The Itch (3)}[25^th October 1983];

[Redbook2:326][19840116:2400c]{The Itch (4)}[16^th January 1984]]

… <930823>

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{Opposites (1) [continued]}[4th January 1988]

[Redbook4:286-287][19880104:1622]{Opposites (1) [continued]}[4th January 1988]

19880104.1622

This problem of 'opposites'* has been touched upon in relation to Vices etc..** For example, is the opposite of Pride, Humility – or Shame? 'Opposite' is too general a term when dealing with such qualities, etc.. This is where I suspect the geometry of the Circles and their language of Resonance may provide a more precise description of relationships – but the exact way of it is still unclear.

*[See last previous entry.]

**[e.g. presumably [Redbook4:197-198][19871206:1235]{Virtues and Vices (3)}[6th December 1987]; and see e.g [Redbook4:204][19871208:0111]{Virtues and Vices (4)*}[7th December 1987].]

[See [Redbook4:288][19880104:1622e]{Opposites (2)}][4th January 1988].]

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{Opposites (1)}[3rd January 1988]

[Redbook4:286-287][19880103:1211g]{Opposites (1)}[3rd January 1988]

19880103.1211

[continued]

The comments (above)* about different kinds of negatives classified themselves into Inner and Outer Circle as I wrote. This, applied contrariwise, does clarify the problem: i.e. Outer Circle A~ motivates by scarcity** – hence economic activity – even though Inner Circle A~ is where material abundance is found: so the Black Horseman*** is the extreme of Outer Circle A~ and the lack (or antithesis) of Inner Circle A~. Similarly the Red Horseman*** is the (lack? or) antithesis of Inner Circle G~ (Revelation) and the White Horseman*** is the (lack? or) antithesis of Inner Circle M~ (Inner Action), as they are the extremes of Revolution and Outer Action respectively. +C†I~, as the turning-point, is slightly more complicated but the basic principle is the same.****

*[See last previous entry.]

**(real or imagined)

***[sic]

****(interrupted!)

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{The Christmas Horseman}[3rd January 1988]

[Redbook4:285-286][19880103:1211f]{The Christmas Horseman}[3rd January 1988]

19880103.1211

[continued]

[W] has been ill since Christmas – a kind of flu – and [d] and [s] off-colour. This used to happen to either or both of us, as it does to others, around Christmas in London: we put it down to the sudden relaxation when work ended on 23^rd December, after the stress of getting work and domestic arrangements completed on time.

I have always been a bit uncertain about the Four Horsemen* in the Circles; but, so far as it goes, here they are again:

			(Mid Winter)
			+C†I~ (4) Pale Horse Death (by disease)
		(3) Human Face (TXIII)	| \	(4) Eagle in flight
(Equinox)	G~ (2) Red (Bay) Horse Civil War(?)	. –	\ | ☼ | \	. – .	M~ (1) White Horse Conquest.	(Equinox)
		. (2) Bull	(Hades) \ |	(1) Lion
			Famine (3) Black Horse A~
			(Mid Summer)

The Pale Horse and its rider have traditionally been associated with disease, presumably because of the colour (bearing in mind that the Horsemen seem to embody, in this context, the negative aspects of their cardinal points; but in a different sense for the two polarities: on the vertical polarity, it is the lack of what should be there at least on the Inner Circle; on the horizontal polarity, it is the extreme of what one would expect there on the Outer Circle).

Disease might seem more likely in hot weather, but Christmas (and Winter) does seem to be the time. Famine might be expected in Winter, but seems to make itself felt in practice soon after crop failure, i.e. in late Summer: harvests seem to be reasonably OK or near-total losses. The seasons to avoid for War – whether external or internal – were traditionally mid- to late Summer, when labour was required for the Harvest; and Winter, when mobility (and even survival) was impaired.

*[(of the Book of Revelation)]

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{Communion [continued (3)]}[3rd January 1988]

[Redbook4:283-284][19880103:1211d]{Communion [continued (3)]}[3rd January 1988]

19880103.1211

[continued]

One's reaction to this* must depend on one's outlook on such matters and one's attitude to life in general. If you do not believe in principle or archetypes such as Christ, and the possibility of their realisation or projection within the Individual, no doubt it will seem obvious that I have sublimated homosexual tendencies into a delusion of a pseudo-religious nature. Were I to talk about it too much, no doubt drugs would be prescribed: and they might well end all this. It would not follow that the experience was not real, even objective, merely that my mind had been blocked from access to it: there are, after all, (I believe) drugs that can make you blind, but the World continues. Such a view inflates sex and negates the Spirit, distorting perception: the opinions, on this subject, of those who have not undergone this kind of experience are unlikely to be soundly based.

It is possible that my reaction – to fear and reject the intimacy of the Communion while loving and accepting the Man – is a part of the pattern of transition from Outer to Inner Circle:

[Text of ms diagram of which an extract is shown above:]

		+C†I~
	→
	↑R~↓
↑	↓
↑G~	↓

[The arrows above represent a continuous dashed curving line in the ms. diagram.]

At this stage one may simply not be ready for it. On the other hand, it may be a measure of my failure: it may be what tends to carry one on round the Outer Circle again. In this case I may have been given a second chance. I believe that one must carry Christ within one round the Inner Circle. I am heartened by the feeling that the Communion had taken place before my worldly fears took over: I am not even sure that my rejection actually had any effect on the experience, which may have already been completed before I began to react in this way.

*[See last two previous entries.]

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{Communion [continued]}[3rd January 1988]

[Redbook4:282-283][19880103:1211c]{Communion [continued]}[3rd January 1988]

19880103.1211

[continued]

I now believe the young man* to be +C, my perception of +C†I~, or Christ. The experience was in no way homosexual: sexuality was present only as a small part of the whole of my being, with which that Communion took place. My fear and rejection arose when that Communion was already under way:** it was a fear and rejection of what I assumed to be a homosexual experience (more than just a dream), never of the young man himself. (My love for him, I imagine, only added to my waking guilt). It is in the nature of Dreams which verge on {or become} Experiences that the observer is often (but not always) perceived by himself to be where his body really is, i.e. in bed: cf. my dream of +M~ while writing [1],*** and numerous accounts of other visions. (Had I fallen asleep while standing up (as I did under [special forces reserve] interrogation training), or while sitting in Court (as I did sometimes during Chancery pupillage), it is quite possible that the experience would have taken place or been set within these circumstances.)

*[See last previous entry]

**(or completed: see [[Redbook4:283-284][19880103:1211d][{Communion [continued (3)]}][3rd January 1988],] p284.)

***II.[[Redbook2:264-265][19821114:1915]{[1]: A Visitation]}[14^th November 1982] (where being/remaining in bed is not specifically stated.)]

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