{A Dream: The Book '[0]'}[15th February 1982]

[Redbook2:221-222][19820215:2340]{A Dream: The Book '[0]'}[15^th February 1982]

19820215.2340

My first rejection 'slip'*, although expected, depressed me – not least because it came in about a week and was on an open card, delivered upstairs (bad reasons!). During the weekend I was attracted by the idea of dropping the whole thing for a bit, although I don't know whether I would have done so: by an odd coincidence I heard 'The Lord of the Dance' playing, walked into the sitting room where W's father was watching, and saw it played by a group called 'The Spinners'. But early on Monday morning (this morning) I had a dream of which I only remember fragments. They are: (1) The teacher-healer mode [as] experienced before (this is more of an inner sensation than an appearance, although the traditional western Christ-figure sometimes seems to be related to it, as I think it was on this occasion); (2) the Awareness in this mode (I am reluctant to say 'I' because there is in this mode a feeling very different from 'I'; for the same reason I have deleted 'Point of [' before '] Awareness') bearing the book ['0'], recognisable in its pale-gold typescript binding; and (3) movement, to a distinct end**, but possibly also away from certain influences or pressures.

Whatever this may mean, it has reassured me in some way, although it could imply almost anything – including the necessity not to mind not being published.

*i.e. for ['0'], I think <870811>

**(related to the book, I think)

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