{Schizophrenia (3) [continued]}[20th December 1987]

[Redbook4:244-245][19871220:0000b]{Schizophrenia (3) [continued]}[20th December 1987]

(19)

19871220.

[continued]

As a creative and imaginative person (specifically), I have at times felt myself to be on the edge of mental imbalance or insanity. These times have been few: for example, possibly during my first year at Cambridge;* speculatively, at other times; in a controlled way, during the writing of [the original draft of] [1]; and momentarily, in Scotland.** But I suspect that I am lucky enough to have an underlying toughness of mind, determination and even self-discipline when the motivation or necessity is there.***

If so, and if I am also as creative and imaginative as I feel myself to be, then I am indeed lucky, and should be very grateful. Circles Analysis shows Creation and Fragmentation to be inextricably linked, and indeed to be poised on a narrow ridge between the Abyss of Materialism and the breakdown of the Mind. The creative writer in particular must be able to look into both these quarters, and yet keep his balance.****

*[During which time a letter from the writer’s College (of which the writer was unaware until decades later) enquired whether there was any history of mental illness in the family. <20170624>]

**cf. III.[[Redbook3:15-16][19860907:0612j]{A Dream: [(6)] of Madness}[7^th September 1986],]15-16.

***{e.g. the first person at my [primary-level boarding] school to have got his first swimming star by [swimming three lengths] doggy-paddle!}

****{See V.[]156 etc.

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