{A Dream: Return through the Tunnel}[6th August 1985]

[Redbook2:366-371[19850806:2138]{A Dream: Return through the Tunnel}[6^th August 1985]

19850806.2138

A somewhat unpleasant dream this morning (whose unpleasant tone may have been partly due to having gone to bed with an acute (although temporary) feeling of emotional frustration which could only be alleviated by complete silence:

[W] and I were in a dark enclosed area. I went forward to our photo-copier (which was against one side of the area) saying angry words to the effect of: 'X has been stealing our copies', or 'Not content with stealing our(?) copies, X has....', or 'Not content with..., X has been stealing our copies'. I knew at that time who X was but I did not and cannot relate X to any person I know. I saw on the ground in front of one end of the copier some sheets which X had dropped: they were covered with musical notes. This might be how I knew that X had 'stolen' copies. I knew that X would come back.

It became apparent that the dark enclosed area in which we were standing took the form of a high curving arched tunnel, rather like (for example) York [Railway] Station: as I moved across this, I could see light beyond the end of the tunnel ahead of us and figures moving in the light beyond the end. As I expected, X did come back from among those figures, down the other side of the tunnel – the side on which I now stood (I think that [W] was still with me), away from the copier. X was a small person, with an extraordinary face: the face was hollow and distorted, and its prominent feature was its huge eyes, which were on slightly different levels (if I recall rightly) and seemed like mauve or purple rings around pools of blackness*.

I sensed even more acute conflict than before; X was now between me and the tunnel wall, and I said to X (as much in desperation as in anger) 'How did I know (?it was you)?' The answer – which I thought at the time was mine to X, but I can recall no evidence for** this belief – came with great force, even anger: 'Because you're a psychic, you fool!' (or, ?'You fool, because you're a psychic!'). I was now next to the tunnel wall and between X and the light from which X had returned: the sense of conflict rose to a high point as X's extraordinary collapsed face with its huge eyes advanced towards me, back up the tunnel.

At this point I made a decision, became completely calm, and raised a barrier between me and the face: a simple square Cross of slender rods, + , which stretched from top to bottom and side to side of my field of vision: the face disappeared and I woke up with exactly the same sense of complete calm, and lay in bed for a while, reflecting.

*There is a near-image of these eyes, so far as I recall them (but perhaps with a slightly lighter hue), in Gleick's 'Chaos: Making a New Science', Heinemann, 1988...: facing p.172, a colour photo of the Lorenz Attractor (Phase-Space Diagram). <880803>

**[i.e. in support of.]

***[X is as originally written, not the same person referred to as [X] in other entries in order to disguise the actual name]

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