{Joy}[2nd December 1980]

[Redbook2:179][19801202:2320]{Joy}[2nd December 1980]

19801202.2320

The note on my bed this evening:

'[HUNTER]

Can you come and see me please.

M.'

– communicated its urgency so well that I speculated that D might be dead, moving rapidly into fantasy: financial consequences, compassionate leave....

In fact it was [Aunt][A]*: killed in an air crash. Hard to comprehend at first: later I kept myself busy with cooking supper for us. As the reality has sunk in I have felt, not grief or bereavement – except occasionally when others have communicated it – but an extraordinary feeling of deep joy for one who in one way or another continues. This is at present the true reaction. I have tried others, but they were contrived. The joy is not without its poignant sadness, as perhaps all great joy must be. Grief for my own present and material loss my well come later.

***[See [Redbook2:57][19740909:0725b]{A Trip to the Colonies [continued]}[9th September 1974] PostedBlogger26for25042014]

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