{...[WBW][continued (3)]}[19th February 1990]

[Redbook7:70-71][19900219:1936c]{...[WBW][continued (3)]}[19th February 1990]

.1936

[continued]

The proper alternative* is not to have money – but if you are not to have mounting debts, that means not having the wife. Separate accounts, unmarried cohabitants, and possibly illegitimate children if you dare risk children at all.

Why do I generalise? – Because [W] was a working** girl for sixteen years, who for all but the first few of those years lived away from home supporting herself in a way I never fully had, with only moderate credit-card debts when we married*** and quite capable of carrying on for another thirty years or so in the same way. And yet she started to go to pieces when we married – she was fine when we cohabited – and has got worse since the children arrived.

I am sure that this is the effect I have on her. It is simply a loss of rational judgement, especially (but not only) in matters financial, coupled with an apparent inability to see it.**** I guess it arises naturally out of the marriage relationship, in which case there is no escaping it within marriage.

God help me: I can only play my role to the full, not half-and-half as I have tried to do. This may take a while to arrange; but I don’t see the alternative.#

*[See last previous entry]

**Literally, you fool! In offices, typing and being a secretary etc.... <900511>

***£[...] when we set up the business in 1982/3

****[And see [Redbook7:82][19900311:2332b]{Testing Times}[11th March 1990]]

#{As I annotate these entries, [W] is redecorating the house....}

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