{Forgiveness and Repentance [continued]}[17th March 1988]

[Redbook5:82-83][19880317:2010b]{Forgiveness and Repentance [continued]}[17th March 1988]

19880317.2010

[continued]

What is interesting is that by forgiving my parents* without waiting for their repentance I have thrown the burden of their injustice from me – **something which I thought I could do by cutting myself off, but found after a while that I could not because I could not cut myself off. *** Physically I could (and may continue to be) cut off myself from them; psychologically, I could not and cannot. ****I began recently to dream of my mother old and in tears from this. I still recognise the injustice, but it is no longer a burden: if ever it threatens to creep back, I say to myself: 'I have forgiven them!' – and my joy triumphs.

It is also interesting that my forgiveness of them seems to have been the necessary precondition for a transformation of my state of mind which was quite unexpected – although I felt that something was lacking – and seems to return me to a fuller experience of something I experienced many years ago, or think I did, if only intermittently. At all events there is a tremendous familiarity about it: like meeting an old and much-loved, trusted and respected friend whom one had forgotten, at least the reality of, over many years; and yet more, much more than a friend: an inhabitant?

#

*[See last previous entry.]

**ref III

[See [Redbook5:66][19880316:1300]{Forgiveness}[16th March 1988] & fn refs; &

[Redbook5:80][19880316:2143b]{Love and Forgiveness}[16th March 1988].]

***{?}

****{(Dreams [sic] of Mother)}{cf. [[Redbook5:93-94][19880318:1005]{Dream of Inner Sybil}[18tth March 1988]] 93 [fn]}

#{ref [[Redbook5:208][19880718:1005]{Forgiveness: What we do and what we are}[18^th July 1988],] 208}

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{Forgiveness and Repentance}[17th March 1988]

[Redbook5:81-83][19880317:2010]{Forgiveness and Repentance}[17th March 1988]

19880317.2010

This experience* of the necessity and effect of forgiveness without repentance among Individuals implies that (contrary to what I may have thought earlier)** the Love of God also means God's forgiveness with or without our repentance. It is important to try to understand what this means.

In the case of me and my parents,*** I forgive them gladly for what they have done;**** but I still know them for what they are. I guess that God's forgiveness is what enables the 'good bits' to return to God after Death, although before Death experience suggests a more all-or-nothing state for each Individual. But only repentance brings about the transformation of the whole Individual, so that he is no longer what he was. (This is creative analytical speculation.)

In psychological terms, perhaps, divine forgiveness removes the burden of his own sin from the Individual, preventing him from being dragged down wholly to destruction by it; but repentance transfers the centre of his awareness or identity from the stained to the unstained state, in mind, or perhaps in time, so that his stain is cleared. But this is a poor attempt to explain something real but [sic] extraordinarily sophisticated.

*[See [Redbook5:80][19880316:2143c]{Law and Love}[16th March 1988], &c.]

**ref III?, IV.

[But see e.g. [Redbook3:101-102][19870404:1005k]{The Righting of Wrongs}[4th April 1987]; &c.?]

***[See [Redbook5:66][19880316:1300]{Forgiveness}[16th March 1988] & fn refs; &

[Redbook5:80][19880316:2143b]{Love and Forgiveness}[16th March 1988].]

****I wrote 'if anything' on the letters because I have not been able to agree this with them.

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{Pray!}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:81][19880316:2400]{Pray!}[16th March 1988]

.2400

I can close my mind to God: quite easily. He could force his way through: but he doesn't, unless he chooses. He do I keep my mind open? I guess the answer is: Speak to God; Keep speaking to God; Love God; in a word: PRAY!

[

It is irreverent, but the higher end of the UK senior Civil Service &c. hierarchy of 'gongs' (medals), the Most Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George, and their popular descriptions by the lower ranks come irresistibly to mind (lowest first):

CMG: (Companion): Call me God;

KCMG: (Knight (or Dame) Commander): Keep Calling Me God;

GCMG: (Knight (or Dame) Grand Cross): God Calls Me God.

]

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{Acknowledgement}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:80][19880316:2255b]{Acknowledgement}[16th March 1988]

.[22]55

I wish to place it on record that I owe this return* in large part to the kindness and helpfulness of a Christian Fundamentalist, with whose ideas and opinions I mostly disagree.*

*[See last previous entry, &c.]

**[See [Redbook5:51-61][19880314:1115]{Fundamental Points of View}[14th March 1988], ff]

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{Con-science}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:80][19880316:2255]{Con-science}[16th March 1988]

*.[22]55

I should guess that this awareness of God the Spirit (for I know him to be the Spirit, ** and only sense a certain fatherliness about him) is the knowledge of God of which xS in [2] says all Men are capable. I speculate that we are more likely to be aware of it during the first quarter of life, less during the second (Outer), and hopefully more again during the third (if Inner) and fourth.

*[In ms as .1055 but either the date or (more likely) the time format must be wrong.]

**{But see

[[Redbook5:88-92][19880318:1252#]{The Phenomena and Quality of Christ [continued#] – God the Father [continued]}[18th March 1988],] 92,

[[Redbook5:101-103][19880320:1220#]{The Trinity on the Circles}[20th March 1988],] 102,

[[Redbook5:83-87][19880317:2250#]{Lucifer (2) [continued#],]}[17th March 1988]] 86,

[& [Redbook5:78][19880316:1300r]{God's Man [continued (4)]}[16th March 1988].

}

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{Law and Love}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:80][19880316:2143c]{Law and Love}[16th March 1988]

.2143

[continued]

I guess that my former attitude to forgiveness* – that it should not occur without repentance – could be described as legalistic, belonging perhaps to the M~ hemisphere of the Outer Circle, where it was drawing me; and that this approach, to forgive without waiting, is that of Love, of the Spirit, belonging to the G~ hemisphere of the Inner Circle.**

*[See last previous entry including fn refs.]

**{See VI [] ….}

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{Love and Forgiveness}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:80][19880316:2143b]{Love and Forgiveness}[16th March 1988]

.2143

[continued]

I am still,* however, filled with this love and forgiveness for my parents: have written out the letters, and they await the postman. The reaction may be hostile, patronising, advantage-taking, or zero; I am still happy. | And I am full of gratitude and praise that the consequences seem to have followed so closely on the decision.

*{ref [[Redbook5:66][19880316:1300]{Forgiveness}[16th March 1988],] 66}

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{God's Man [continued (5)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:79][19880316:2143]{God's Man [continued (5)]}[16th March 1988]

.2143

It distresses me to admit to something that shames me so: but it may be of help, so it must be done. God speaks with the 'still small voice':* so it should not surprise (especially the inexperienced like me) that external distractions, domestic and public, remove the attention from the inner sense.

That is no excuse, however, for my momentary and barbaric reaction of pleasure at the attack on the funeral of three I[rish] R[epublican] A[rmy] terrorists caught 'in the act'** at Gibraltar: explained, I suppose, by frustration not only at the actions but at the words of the IRA. Momentary, before compassion re-asserted itself: but enough to give rise to deep shame that I should feel such things literally in the sight of God, and so abuse my freedom.

Let this warn: that awareness of God is neither omniscience, nor union with God, and God in his mercy allows the Individual Soul still his freedom, to be wrong, merely withdrawing himself (or allowing himself to be veiled) behind the darkening of the Soul. I am at a very primitive stage: still experiencing as all Men could and should.

*[

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

– 1 Kings 19:11-13 (Authorised/King James Version)

]

**[and shot]

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{God's Man [continued (4)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:78][19880316:1300r]{God's Man [continued (4)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

What is the difference between Christ and God, the* Spirit, of which I am aware, in my experience? I thought perhaps I could explain; but when I try, each of the qualities or attributes I would use to distinguish the one, turns out to apply to the other: so that although they distinguish themselves to me, I cannot distinguish them to you.**

***

The Son-Spirit is incarnate in symbol or image: the Father-Spirit discarnate. The Son is defined: the 'Father' undefined. The son is specific: the 'Father' general.****

*(Father-) <880320>

**[sic]

***Oh [CH]! Oh Holy Place, how I have railed against you, how little I have deserved you....

****{BUT See p

[[Redbook5:80][19880316:2255]{Con-science}[16th March 1988],] 80,

[[Redbook5:88-92][19880318:1252#]{The Phenomena and Quality of Christ [continued#] – God the Father [continued]}[18th March 1988],] 92,

[[Redbook5:101-103][19880320:1220#]{The Trinity on the Circles}[20th March 1988],] 102,

[[Redbook5:83-87][19880317:2250#]{Lucifer (2) [continued#],]}[17th March 1988]] 86

}

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God's Man [continued (3)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:78][19880316:1300q]{God's Man [continued (3)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

What is it, to be God's Man?* To be certain of one's awareness of God, but not of my [sic] understanding of him: God is perfect, but I am not; God is capable of making my understanding perfect, but he may choose not to do so, and as my own understanding is imperfect, I may and probably will misunderstand him.

*[See last previous entry.]

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{God's Man [continued]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:77][19880316:1300p]{God's Man [continued]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

I am going back many years here. * What is it, to be God's Man, with no Earthly authority? I think that I distinguish more sharply now between the three aspects of the Trinity, than does (for example) my Fundamentalist adviser. I remember rightly, even when I have been uncertain about Christ, I have been aware of God. God the Father, or God the Spirit? Being uncertain then about Christianity, and therefore of the Trinity, I was simply aware of God: as I am now (since the end of the previous paragraph),* as a presence, a nearness, which is not of the same quality as the Christ quality, or [sic] as the Jesus Christ of the Gospels, but is of the Quality I perceive in the God he spoke of, and in the Old Testament God, so far as I can grasp it.

God is a Spirit:** I cannot distinguish, in perception, but if, as I speculate … no, I cannot speculate, but this Quality is a Spirit which descends and reascends and resonates [sic] of the Father in its overwhelming Quality of the Spirit. And it has come back to me through Crisis: 'No man cometh to the Father but through me'***.

I speculate – how could one do more than speculate even about related matters? – that the fullness of the Circles is the gift of the Spirit: that my understanding of the position of Christ, the Son of God, arises out of the awareness of God the Spirit.

*[See last previous entry.]

**[God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24 (A/KJV).

See [Redbook5:70-71][19880316:1300f]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (5)]}[16th March 1988]]

***[John 14:6.

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.

Philip saith unto him, Lord, shew us the Father, and it sufficeth us.

Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father? Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works. Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake. Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

If ye love me, keep my commandments.

And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?

Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me. These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I. And now I have told you before it come to pass, that, when it is come to pass, ye might believe. Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me. But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.

(John 14, A/KJV.]

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{God's Man}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:76][19880316:1300o]{God's Man}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

Am I a “New Ager”?* I don't think so; although there are resemblances. Unlike many of the people who have entered and perhaps emerged from the various New Age cults, I have never smoked [tobacco] or taken narcotic drugs, or drunk alcohol regularly in significant quantities; nowadays I hardly drink at all. I avoid most of those sorts of things for the same reason that I rarely get far with any cult or mind-technique and even have some difficulties with many Christian sects: I have an instinctive aversion to involvement with this kind of thing.

This arose originally I suspect out of an early determination (for one reason or another) to be my own Man, strangely so in one so feeble and generally incompetent; gradually this has been transformed into a will to be God's Man, having a direct, if imperfect, relationship with God: a difference from Fundamentalists being that I do not accept the Bible as the infallible Word of God.**

*[More like the ancient Rayburn at [CH], actually, full of smoke and hot air.]

**[[Redbook3:67-70][19870329:1210r](THE BIBLE AND CHRIST/JESUS)[29^th March 1987]]

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{False Christs; True Christ [continued (12)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:75-76][19880316:1300n]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (12)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

I think one has to bear in mind that the long list of subjects and techniques which are disapproved of by fundamentalist Protestants includes psychology – and most definitely Jungian psychology.* The fact is** that by excluding an understanding, or even a description, of vast areas of human experience, these sects of Christianity reduce their ability to understand and help people who are undergoing them.

There are plenty of stories of people who have come to the Protestant sects after they have passed through these experiences: my fundamentalist helper is one, as I understand his story, and Matrisciana*** is up to a point another. There are plenty of adherents by upbringing or conversion who have never gone through them at all. But no one has yet seemed able to explain in advance to the public in general what sort of experiences they are likely to go through, and why,**** and help them to understand and, where appropriate, withstand. That is what I am trying to do.

*Also evolution – any evolution.

**(as I see it!)

***[Redbook5:67-76][19880316:1300b]{False Christs; True Christ}[16th March 1988]

****(or at least, how)

[Presumably the public at large, not specifically Christian (or of any other faith); otherwise Bunyan and a number of Christian mystics would seem to have tried something of the sort, at least for Christians.... <20180123>]

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{False Christs; True Christ [continued (11)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:74-75][19880316:1300m]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (11)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

It is quite correct to say that Hinduism and Christianity cannot be fused: no one who was aware of the true Quality of Christ could conceive of such as Kali being worshipped.* But Hinduism recognises that many people do worship Kali and other psychological projections of immense power in their daily lives, without ever going into a temple. These aspects of the mind (whether Hindu deities represent them, as I believe they try to do, or not) exist, whether we like it or not: the evidence is all around us as well as within.

I believe that Christ can raise them to a higher plane, where Kali is transformed into, say, J~, or G~ (the correspondences are unlikely to be exact). What I mean by this is that Christ has the ability by Grace to transform people's whole natures, their state of Mind, so that ** the*** deities of Hinduism are recognised for the demons they are: real, but from a lower or unconverted spiritual and moral order of things. (There is much talk in these two books,**** and the film,# of Kali and Shiva; little or none of Vishnu and Brahma.)

In my fiction, +K shows Kali-ish aspects in [0] and particularly in [1];#* by [2]#** she has largely abandoned them, but it comes out a little[,] after she meets +Mk[,]#*** and [it] is picked up previously by a perceptive Fellow.

*[cf. Last previous entry but one: [Redbook5:73][19880316:1300k]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (9)]}[16th March 1988].]

**(all?) [Surely not; see following sentence, and next fn.]

***[sic; = these?]

****(i.e. Cumbey and Matrisciana.)

[See [Redbook5:67-76][19880316:1300b]{False Christs; True Christ}[16th March 1988]]

#[Redbook5:52][19880314:1115b]{Fundamental Points of View [continued]}[14th March 1988]

#*[Some of which was removed on subsequent revision.]

#**[Subject to revision.]

#***{(in order to invoke the physical power of the [O]?)}

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{False Christs; True Christ [continued (10)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:74][19880316:1300l]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (10)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

It may be Hinduism's essential lack of comprehension of Christ which gives rise to the theory of re-incarnation and the endless or near-endless cycle of birth and death and re-birth with gradual improvement or corruption. The Wheel of Re-incarnation may be seen as the Circles without Christ, who can take on one's suffering and stain and enable one to turn round. (This might be why the reversed swastika has such a bad reputation: because, being without Christ, it is forced.* But this is speculation.)** All this is in the realm of idea: an explanation of theory, not a description of fact; 

I do not believe in re-incarnation because I see neither evidence nor purpose for it.***

*[Nothing to do with its adoption by the Nazis, then! <20180123>]

**(And see next para [in next entry]): that Christ uplifts it? I guess it ought only to be possible as subordinate to the Outer Circle otherwise? Or not at all? Or am I reading them reversed: that the anti-clockwise is the Outer Circle, leading to Kali, the clockwise the Inner, and 'my' circles should be drawn as they are in the Night Sky (and as I have drawn them from time to time), with M~ on left and G~ on right? This is for presentation: the Circles have always been left-right reversible and/or up-down reversible.)

***[And it would seem, in an age of rapidly increasing World population, mathematically tricky.]

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{False Christs; True Christ [continued (9)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:73][19880316:1300k]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (9)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

There are other* Archetypes, of course; and this is where Hinduism has the advantage over extreme Protestantism, in that it recognises this factor. Extreme Protestantism recognises only Christ and the Devil, in effect; and this is not enough to even begin to explain the diversity of the world in which they** live. Only a narrow or limited vision could think that it was. There are multiple choices to be made, multiple implications to be faced, compromises accepted, in the most mundane actions: taking a drink of water; buying oranges; driving a car. Hinduism, with its plethora of demons, at least may be said to go some way towards facing this. Fundamentalist Protestantism doesn't.

What Hinduism lacks, plainly, is Christ: although Krishna may be an attractive Outer-Circle[-]type hint of the Christ archetype in advance of Jesus, no system which had understood the Quality of Christ could continue as Hinduism does with its corruption of ***un-coordinated forces.****

*[See last previous entry.]

**[The extreme Protestants – presumably?]

***{(apparently)}

I think 'corruption' describes the state [i.e. condition], not the process, here. <891007>

****[See next entry but one: [Redbook5:74-75][19880316:1300m]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (11)]}[16th March 1988]]

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{False Christs; True Christ [continued (8)]}[16th March 1988]

[Redbook5:72-73][19880316:1300j]{False Christs; True Christ [continued (8)]}[16th March 1988]

19880316.13

[continued]

It is important for me and for anyone else who reads my fictions to remember that they are fictions: imaginative clothing dresses the Archetypal qualities, even though the act of dressing may be unconscious. Their appearances, their words, even their apparent qualities are filtered through my imperfections. This is (I guess) why +C, who[,] after all[,] changes appreciably during and between the fictions, is not identical to Jesus Christ of the Gospels, or to Jesus of Revelations, or to the Son, the Messiah, in Paradise Lost – and yet may still be modelled on, and a fictional representation of, the Archetype Christ. Within the limits of his* fictions, I should guess, he is an incarnation for his times.

*{!}

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