{Love and Sex (8) [continued]}[29th September 1989]

[Redbook6:281-282][19890929:2152c]{Love and Sex (8) [continued]}[29th September 1989]

.2152

[continued]

Returning home,* I was thinking: ‘Lover, love Love, and be beloved.’ – the invocation of xS, as Love herself.**  My aspiration is towards a universal but particularised Love (to replace the generalised diffuse love I lost many years ago).***  At present I find this easier towards women than towards men – but towards women, I suspect my feelings are to a significant extent comprised of two elements: the male in me loving the female in them; but also the female in me loving the male in them (there may well also be male in me – male in them and female – female strands, but these might be necessarily less passionate or intense, more friendly and equable).

So far as males are concerned, it should similarly be possible **** for the female in me to love the male in them and  [for] the male in me to love the female in them (and male – male, female – female).  I should then be able to love females and males equally, as I become more perfectly balanced, and (in due course) to love them both more perfectly, as I become more integrated.

There are signs of this beginning, with both females and males, already: but only beginning; there is a long way to go.

But I am pretty certain that the way things turned out this evening, at the class, was linked to my reflection on R~, or xS,# as I know her, whose principle is simplification (simplicity) and whose quality is Love – and by thinking on whom I was enabled to enter that room full of strangers, without thought for myself or ambition of any kind, but with (and without thinking about it) a heart full of Love.


*[See last previous entry]

**ref III. [[Redbook3:135][19870406:2300b](SEX AND GENDER [continued])[6th April 1987],] 135

***[[Redbook3:58-59][19870329:1210g](DEVELOPMENT [continued(4)])[29th March 1987]]

****(If this seems peculiar, one is probably thinking in terms of physical sexual intercourse. I am not.)

#{(Yes, see [[Redbook6:281-283][19890929:2152b][{Love and Sex (8)}][29th September 1989], (last previous entry)] 281[f]n‘#’ above)}
[R~ & xS were originally written in the ms here the other way round, ie ‘xS, or R~,’]

[continues]

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