{The Beat of Angelic Wings}[8th August 1988]

[Redbook5:266][19880808:2229]{The Beat of Angelic Wings}[8th August 1988]

[22?]

19880808.1029

Yet another attempt at booklet making* [sic] has come to grief – this time, in the realisation that the structure I had planned fell foul of its own message, ie that Ordination will lead to Fragmentation; and in the realisation that by concealing, or referring dismissively to,** the symbols which have guided me, I am lying to my readership*** and letting myself down: and my God.

Thinking back to July of last year – what is the thing about which I have felt most joy in writing since the beginning of the journal Book IV, and around the time of the injunction: ‘Speak!’****? The thing that has given me the most intense joy in experience is the experience of God; but the thing that has given me the most frequent joy in writing is – Angels! Dear Lord: how shall I convey the fact that what led up to this paragraph – what surrounds (and is excluded from) my attempts and failures to make a booklet is – the beat of Angelic wings. [–]Well, by saying so, I suppose. No matter that I neither believe nor disbelieve, and doubt whether they need wings anyway: they beat against the page, waiting to be let in. So like a good Metaphysician, I shall work (using the first two pages of my last attempt, I guess) from the top downwards, and see what happens. This is probably my last hope.#

*[[Redbook5:263-264][19880808:1005]{Dryness and Dis-ease}[8th August 1988]]

**at this stage – as a trick to introduce them without scaring readers off.

***[Another reason for being very slow to exclude material from this typescript; cf [Redbook5:263][19880806:1030b]{Boring}[6th August 1988], fn]

****[[Redbook4:48-49][19870730:0010]{“Speak!”}[30^th July 1987]]

#cf [[Redbook5:274-275][19880813:2002]{Angelic Degrees}[13th August 1988]] 275,

[[Redbook5:306-320][19880818:1145]{Spherical Orientation}[8th August 1988]] 30[8]

[Page number 308 corrected from 306 as in ms page numbering; but unclear to what this refers]

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