[Redbook2:294-295][19830806:2330]{A
Dream of Progression}[6th
August 1983]
19830806.2330
Yesterday
morning I dreamt with (inter alia) these elements from my memories:
{1}
Trying to discover from the lists, at [St. Q's]* on the first day of
term, which dormitory I was in, and finding to my dismay that I was
in the largest dormitory: not the Great Space, I argued with another
there, but a similar name;
a
conversation on the lawn in front of the house there;
{2}
clinging precariously to the outside of a double-decker bus from the
School, which swayed and careered along the [C] track towards the
main road: I said this was stupid and, when the driver persisted, I
got off (this recalling** an incident in the TA when*** I did
precisely that from a Land Rover, realising too late that I had thus
disgraced myself);
{3}
Walking back from this incident to the […] junction, encountering a
dangerous group of former T.A.**** contemporaries who (after
heckling?) gave me a letter to take to – another of their number
whose face I could (and can) picture but whose name I could not
remember;
{4}
followed by one of the T.A. down that track I branched right into the
field and was trapped in a small bare room by him, for
interrogation??*****;
{5}
walking alone down the Hanging Field, I passed through the gate at
the bottom to see, just up the hill on the track******, a giant of a
man whom I also thought I recognised from the T.A., but of a
different nature: steadier, and more perceptive: he said words to the
effect of: “I realise now why you are so … (defensive?
suspicious?) when at every step you have been (kicked in the teeth?).
Here ' (holding out his hand): 'Shake.' – with great misgiving I
forced myself to turn the few paces up the hill and shake his great
hand: and turned away, with him watching me steadily (?), to walk
down round the [sharp]
Bend towards home.
This
dream, which seemed a jumble at first, now seems capable of logical
and consistent interpretation in line with that last incident,
although it is not sensitive towards my vanity.
I
had intended to write this this morning, with a shorter piece; but
the other has left that part of my mind, together with all idea of
it, so that I can no longer consciously recall it, and must hope that
in due course it will come up again. There is the moral again: Do
Not Delay!
*[First
boarding school, aged 8 to 13]
**–
in the dream? or later? – <930117>
***through
sheer obstinacy <930117>
****[Territorial
Army and Volunteer Reserve]
*****This
was near where I had hoped to build a house; and exactly where my
father put his caravan (about now?) and later built his house.
<871213>
******[i.e.
the same track which had been left in {4}, but further on down the
hill towards home]
[PostedBlogger18062015]
