{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued (4)]}[27th August 1990]

[Redbook7:256-257][19900827:1050d]{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued (4)]}[27th August 1990]

.1050

[continued]

I have, of course, seen many marriages* end in divorce. But of those marriages which have lasted, of those I know, I would say that the overwhelming majority are exclusively, or almost exclusively, of the horizontal linear type, ie G~/g~–m~/M~. That is to say that they are held together by willed acts of loving-kindness, and are virtually devoid of both sexual and romantic Love.

That is not to say that they are devoid of sex, but that when it occurs it is quite likely to represent the satisfaction of a basic physical need, to be therefore closer to lust than love. They may even contain a modicum of Harmony, sufficient to keep things reasonably together for the time being: perhaps as a radial resonance from male-dominated Ordination (organisation).

But there is no way that this sad state of affairs, however well-motivated (and it often involves considerable **self-sacrifice on behalf of spouse and/or children), represents anything approaching that **loss of self for the sake of the Other that is the beginning and continuation of all true Love, in marriage as in religion.

*[See last two previous entries]

**{c[ontra]?}

[ie Quaere: whether these two statements marked ** contradict each other. Probably/possibly not, in that self-sacrifice (at least when seen from the inside) does not, or does not necessarily, amount to loss of self.]

[continued]

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