{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued (15)]}[27th August 1990]

[Redbook7:264][19900827:2250b]{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued (15)]}[27th August 1990]

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[continued]

Looking at it* in a less symbolic way, the argument for self-restraint in men is based on a fundamental misconception about men, which can be identified in the term ‘sexual desire’. Sexual desire can be felt by man or woman for a particular woman or man, but what underlies it, far more strongly it seems in men than in women, is sexual need for woman (or man) in general. Sexual desire is emotional and may be restrained; sexual need is physical and can only be suppressed, and only at cost to the psyche: and many men are simply incapable of this suppression.

Judges, being mostly male, understand this only too well, which may well be why they sometimes make comments{,} apparently condoning rapists and even blaming the victim{,} which understandably infuriate women. What the judges do not seem to realise is that most women do not themselves understand the nature of male sexual needs. (I am not suggesting that many men understand the nature of female emotional desires, merely that in this case it doesn’t make much difference.)

*[See last previous entry]

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