(MORBIDITY))[6th April 1987]

[Redbook3:132][19870406:1710](MORBIDITY))[6th April 1987]

19870406.1710

Examination of moods and possible reasons for them: Writing the 19870405 note* was extraordinarily tiring. At about p.124** I began to wander***. My mood also changed subtly: I became emotionally as well as mentally confused. This morning, with boring accountancy work to do for our one remaining client (notice the small [hand]writing? – but I'm at a desk: I usually write in an armchair), some confusion remained: bringing(?) traces of old depression and morbid recollections. It was easy to pull myself out of this, once it was identified; and now, writing these notes, that mood seems far away.

I hazard guesses at what may contribute to this sort of 'trace' experience:

• Simple tiredness.
• Chemical and physical input – I ate more than usual at supper (about 2 x main course).
• ?Concentration on rational argument (i.e. temporary avoidance of irrational experiences etc.); and/or
• Attempts to employ rational and logical procedures to prove what I already know, and know cannot be proved.
• Mental involvement in work like our figure-work for client(s), which in its insignificant way is very much 'of the Separation'.

*(pp.118-131[[Redbook3:118-131][19870405:1057](BELIEF AND KNOWLEDGE{1})[5th April 1987] i.e. entry, not footnote.])

**[[Redbook3:124-125][19870405:1057g](BELIEF AND KNOWLEDGE{1}[continued(7)])[5th April 1987]].

[And see [Redbook3:184][19870414:1003](BELIEF AND KNOWLEDGE{2})[14th April 1987]].

***[mentally, presumably.]

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