(DEVELOPMENT (2): {Invocation and Inspiration})[4th April 1987]

[Redbook3:113-114][19870404:1821h](DEVELOPMENT (2): {Invocation and Inspiration})[4th April 1987]

.1821

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Re-reading 19870329 pp 55-64* “Development”, I am struck by how (unconsciously) selective I was: by how much, for no apparent reason, I have left out. For example, I can remember, in my basement back bed-room in Chelsea, before we split the basement off – so it must have been around the late 1970's – on more than one occasion, mentally and possibly physically, bowing my face to the worktable with my hands protecting the back of my head from the rushing descent of an overwhelming Power which aroused in me something of the spiritual torment of one whose Soul was, like a butterfly, pinned to the Earth. It would, I think, sweep silently upon me, batter me, and then be gone; but this may be a later imaginative reconstruction (owing perhaps something to [the film] 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'). Of the descent, however, and the torment, I am absolutely certain.**

Earlier than this, I think, I stood in my front room in that basement (at least once) and invoked that Something of which I was dimly aware around and above me, to come fully into me and express itself, as it were, within me: to use me for its own will. I remember hoping that what I was doing was not what Lady Macbeth did ('Come! All you Spirits of the Air: Unsex me here' etc.(?)).*** (This echoes a much earlier incident, recounted I think in an earlier Volume****, on the evening of [[Cousin] NN]'s death, when I sensed a presence – not knowing that she had died – and asked it (I think) to reveal itself, or go away; it went away).

*[[Redbook3:55-61][19870329:1210d](DEVELOPMENT)[29^th March 1987]]

**Why are none of these experiences mentioned precisely in Vols I & II? A sense of secrecy {i.e. of privacy, of personal sensitivity} perhaps; but it may be that their consequences are covered. <870815> {and see e.g. II.277[[Redbook2:277][19830516:1615b]{Christian and Sufic Literature}[16^th May 1983],[final para]].}

***{'Come! You Spirits that tend on mortal thoughts: Unsex me here.'}

****[[Redbook2:134-137][19781112:2112a]{Clear Sight, Pure Knowledge and Remote Effect [continued]}[12^th November 1978]]

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