Tuesday, 25 January 2022

{Lunar Cycles}[13th September 1990]

[Redbook7:287-288][19900913:1128e]{Lunar Cycles}[13th September 1990]


19900913.1128

[continued]


As it happens, I noticed that the Moon reached full disc a few days after the end of the last O[uter] C[ircle] cycle (ie after the end of menstruation).* There is, of course, supposed to be a link between the full moon and homicide – for example, according to The Independent on Sunday a few weeks ago, if I remember rightly, the Central Park gang rape and assault on a young financier(?), which left her for dead and brain-damaged, occurred on a night of full moon.


If my recollection is correct, high(est) tides at Springs follow the full moon by a few days.**


P

*[See [Redbook7:285-286][1990090913:1128]{Female Cycles}[13th September 1990]]

**[Not particularly; & they occur during the new moon as well]


[continued]


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Sunday, 23 January 2022

{Female Cycles (continued)}[13th September 1990]

[Redbook7:287][19900913:1128d]{Female Cycles (continued)}[13th September 1990]


19900913.1128

[continued]


*

It’s very easy for a husband to to get sucked into the wife’s O[uter] C[ircle] cycle: through obvious transference mechanisms, or simple reaction.  


If he deliberately attempts an I[nner] C[ircle] contra-rotation,** he may be able to protect himself from this; he may even be able to bring some contra-rotating I[nner] C[ircle] influence to her cycle.




*[[Redbook7:286][1990090913:1128b]{Female Cycles [continued]}[13th September 1990]→]


**[See last previous entry but one, [Redbook7:286][1990090913:1128b]{Female Cycles [continued]}[13th September 1990]]



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{The Course of True Love}[13th September 1990]

[Redbook7:287][19900913:1128c]{The Course of True Love}[13th September 1990]


19900913.1128

[continued]


(Some time ago, immediately after that long note on love, sex etc* I think, I meant to note that the course of True Love is an I[nner] C[ircle] course:




**

)



*(ref [[Redbook7:266][19900827:2250e]{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued (18)]}[27th August 1990],] 266)


**[[Redbook7:250][19900826:1728d]{The Three Loves}[26th August 1990]]


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Saturday, 22 January 2022

{Female Cycles [continued]}[13th September 1990]

[Redbook7:286][19900913:1128b]{Female Cycles [continued]}[13th September 1990]


19900913.1128

[continued]


I suppose that in marriage husbands just have to be loving and strong about this:* starting with a degree of self-sacrifice,** which implies a contra-rotating inner circle.*** This will bring inward action and harmony to the worst of P[re-] M[enstrual] T[ension] and the menstrual period itself (into which P[re-] M[enstrual] T[ension] often seems to extend).


Poor [W] is unwell in any case: the monthly cycle is only one of her burdens.



*[See last previous entry]


**[cf [Redbook7:256-257][19900827:1050d]{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued (4)]}[27th August 1990]]


***[See [Redbook7:287][1990090913:1128d]{Female Cycles (continued)}[13th September 1990]]


[→ Next journal entry but one, [Redbook7:287][1990090913:1128d]{Female Cycles (continued)}[13th September 1990]]



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Tuesday, 18 January 2022

{Female Cycles}[13th September 1990]

[Redbook7:285-286][19900913:1128]{Female Cycles}[13th September 1990]


19900913.1128


It’s interesting to look at the date of * my long and rather sad (in its implications) entry on sex and love a couple of weeks ago: 27th August. It arose out of acute sexual and emotional frustration: as it appeared to me, my marriage was fairly loveless. A few days later, everything was alright again: free communication and intercourse between us. For a week or two, everything continued fine. Now, little more than a couple of weeks later, things start to get difficult again: the sort of questions which in the first two weeks are regarded as reasonable and necessary for the running of a family – roughly how long will you be out, so I can plan my work after I don’t have sole care of the children? – How much money are you going to spend {(as we don’t have very much)}? – are resented and evaded; hurtful remarks are made, and protests returned** that it was just a joke, ie my fault for taking it seriously.


Of course, this is nothing new to me or to ***many other husbands; but it[’]s tedious and unpleasant.



****


We are here today, I think! (Average 28-day cycle)#



*ref [[Redbook7:254-266][19900827:1050c]{Love, Sex and Marriage}[27th August 1990]:

[Redbook7:255][19900827:1050d]{Love, Sex and Marriage [continued]}[27th August 1990]ff,] 255ff (0827)


**{(sic)}


*** [‘m’ inserted]


****[See # above]


#[See in diagram above **** (above), in main text]



[continued]


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{Ancient Wisdom}[12th September 1990]

[Redbook7:285][19900912:2400]{Ancient Wisdom}[12th September 1990]


13.0000

19900912.2400


I suppose some sort of maturity is evidenced by realisation that even if there is some validity in C[ircles] A[nalysis &] S[ynthesis], it doesn’t have to be me that proclaims it – it is an idea that has occurred before, is occurring now, and no doubt will occur again.


The road to this happy state of mind begins some way back but passes through independence from {(parental)} family expectations; rejection by the Church; responsibility for, and love of, my wife and my children; and even an article on trains in the [local newspaper] – among others.


It is a happy state of release: not dissimilar to Islam, Surrender to God’s Will or Providence.





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{Mid-Teens Crisis}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:284][19900911:2033b]{Mid-Teens Crisis}[11th September 1990]


.2033

[continued]


[A press-cutting from the Independent for 19900911:5 inserted here in the ms is headed ‘Belief in Christianity ‘fades in early teens’ by Mary Braid, Education Reporter. It includes the following: ‘Young people’s attitudes to Christianity deteriorate between the ages of 11 and 15, according to a survey of more than 6,000 Scottish secondary pupils. The decline is linked to a corresponding increase in their faith in the power of science and the prevalence of the belief that to be a Christian it is necessary to believe that God created the universe in six days. One in three pupils believed that Christians were committed to accept creationism – a view which changed little between 11 and 15. * The survey also found that pupils pleasure in studying science dropped from 59 per cent among 11-year-olds to 37 per cent among 15-year-olds. By contrast, those believing science will eventually give us complete control over the world increased from 22 percent at 11 to 29 percent at 15. While 46 per cent of 11-year-olds felt God helped them, only 29 per cent held that opinion at 15.’ ‘(“Attitude towards Christianity, creationism, scientism and interest in science among 11 to 15-year-old” [sic] by Francis, Gibson and Fulljames, British Journal of Religious Education, September 1990, volume 13, number 1)’]


So why does Christianity fade as the first 16-year Crisis-point approaches? – Well, because the +C†I~ of C[ircles] A[nalysis &] S[ynthesis] is not identical ** to the Jesus Christ of Christianity as it is practised, being more archetypal and less incarnate. The O[uter] C[ircle] semicircle A~-G~-C tends to involve the destruction of whatever framework has operated for the Individual; if that framework, or a part of it, is Christianity, then Christianity is likely to disintegrate.***


Of course, I may understandably be accused of having it all ways....

****



*[It would have been interesting to have had a comparison with pupils from other parts of the United Kingdom, where the influence of the Roman Catholic Church and/or of dogmatic Protestant denominations might be less (or greater).]


**{Yeah, yeah?}


***{See [[Redbook7:284][1990090913:2209e]{Shaking-Out}[13th September 1990], 290-]291}


****{(See [[Redbook7:288][1990090913:2209]{Revival Cycles}[13th September 1990],] 288)}



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{Studies (4)}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:283][19900911:2033]{Studies (4)}[11th September 1990]


.2033


That* ambitious study chart seems to have suffered the fate of hubris: I’ve hardly made time to touch study since. I suppose the system of priorities emerging works out like this, in effect (after daily eating, sleeping, chores,** etc): –



(1)

House Work,*** re sale, winter etc (eg wiring heaters)


(2)

Earning work under contract, as required, eg bookkeeping

/

(4)

Potential earning work freelance, ie commercial writing****

\

(3)

Writing transient ideas etc in this journal****


(5)

C[ircles] A[nalysis] and S[ynthsesis] Booklet


(6)

Studying (general)


At present, (5) gets little and (6) gets nothing.

#

But (6) has dropped from position (3) only in the last month or so.



*ref [[Redbook7:213-214][19900813:2258]{Studies (1) }[13th August 1990], 213-(ms)]214;

[[Redbook7:221-222][19900818:1407]{Study (2)}[18th August 1990],] 221,

[[Redbook7:252][19900826:1728i]{Studies (3)}[26th August 1990],] 252


**[Word inserted]


***[ie work on house, not housework – which is covered under ‘chores’]


****[Shown here in the ms order, with the numbers corrected as in the ms which also has a double-ended arrow reversing the written order]


#{See [[Redbook7:337][19900926:2050b]{Study Circles (1)}[11th September 1990]] 337}




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Sunday, 16 January 2022

{(Dream) … And a Reversing Railcar [continued (3)]}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:282-283][19900911:1202e]{(Dream) … And a Reversing Railcar [continued (3)]}[11th September 1990]


(Tue)

[continued]


The question* naturally is: What is my Unconscious, rightly or wrongly, trying to tell me? What am I doing, or in danger of doing, wrong? – in its judgement.


Apart from getting an article published,** I had during the week begun a ‘fair draft’ of the C[ircles] A[nalysis] and S[ynthesis] booklet, or at least those parts of which I have a reasonably clear idea; later in the week I found myself wiring part of the house for night storage heating instead. On Saturday we looked at a house in Llan[...], and liked the town, although it is not our first choice. I have book-keeping work to do now, and more Writing School / Article preparation work (since this seems to have a realistic prospect of earning some money): it will be some time before I can get back to the booklet.... Or is this all to do with options for our move, where we go, what we do, etc?


I wish my Unconscious would be more specific.


Perhaps it just likes to give me a nudge from time to time.



*[See last previous entry]


**[See [Redbook7:276][19900905:1000]{[The […] Railway] Line}[5th September 1990]]





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{(Dream) … And a Reversing Railcar [continued]}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:282-283][19900911:1202d]{(Dream) … And a Reversing Railcar [continued]}[11th September 1990]


(Tue)

[continued]


This* is, of course, a set ** of old symbolism in my dream experience: the hill with the Sea beyond,*** and the railway system.**** The river has appeared too,# although I think the spring may be new. I tend to see both the hilltop (with its two-way stream) and the reversing railway line as C-symbols, although the symbolism is not thoroughly consistent.




*[See last two previous entries, [Redbook7:281][1990090911:1202b]{Dreams: Of a Spring Diverted...}[11th September 1990]&f]


**ref: many, esp III. early []


***[III? &c?]


****[Many]


#[]




[continued]


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Friday, 14 January 2022

{(Dream) … And a Reversing Railcar}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:282-283][19900911:1202c]{(Dream) … And a Reversing Railcar}[11th September 1990]


(Tue)

[continued]


The second dream,* a day or more probably two days later, is what makes the pair disconcerting: in this dream I was riding backwards in a free-wheeling railway car down from the flattish woody summit of a rather gloomy hill. The railcar gathered speed but at some point slowed down for a reversal, in order to continue downhill.** At this stage the dream became confused and the railway complicated: it had seemed to be narrow gauge, now became possibly a model railway*** with a fairly complex reversing station.



*[See last previous entry]


**[A method of ascending steep hills or mountain faces found on some railway systems]


***{Such as I had intend[ed] also to sell in our planned specialist (Railway) & general bookshop?}



[continued]


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{Dreams: Of a Spring Diverted...}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:281][19900911:1202b]{Dreams: Of a Spring Diverted...}[11th September 1990]


(Tue)


Two dreams during the last few days – since last Wednesday,* anyway, but on different nights** – are interesting taken together.


In the first, I was following a dried-up and overgrown watercourse or ditch to the flat top of a steepish hill. At a certain point on the top I found that it was running with water, but the wrong way: away from me. Tracing it back again, under the overgrowth, I found that someone had damned the ditch, which was fairly deep at this point – at least six feet, and a few feet wide. The dam was the other side of the spring from where I now stood, ie on the side up which I had climbed. The water seemed perhaps to run down the face of the vertical clay dam, so close was the dam to the spring (perhaps it was just a deeper-cut ditch, I now wonder?). I thought briefly of breaking the dam and restoring the flow back down the way I had come, but then suddenly looked out from the hill the way the water was flowing.


Below and in front of me was a green hillside, with trees etc I think, and perhaps some white houses lower down, and the stream running and gathering strength down the hill into a wide smooth bay of the Sea (it might have been a huge lake, but I could not see the other side).***

****



*ref [[Redbook7:276][19900905:1000]{[The […] Railway] Line}[5th September 1990]] 276


**and not later than Saturday[8th September] morning.

***{cf [1] (The Bay of Love);#

& Thomas Mann’s ‘The Magic Mountain’ (Hans Castorp’s Dream) – ref II … (late)

[[Redbook2:252-256][19821010:1330]{The Magic Mountain}[10th October 1982]ff]}


****{cf VIII: [] 114?;

XIV: [] 1


#[Per original ms of [1]; subsequently edited out, but preserved for intended use in another long fiction in the series]



[See next entry]



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Thursday, 13 January 2022

{Non Angeli, sed Angli*}[11th September 1990]

[Redbook7:280][19900911:1202]{Non Angeli, sed Angli*}[11th September 1990]

**

.1202


I don’t often find anything inspired in the pages of my [primary-level] school magazine – even in the funnies section – but this one really is:

(Question:} ‘Who appeared after Jesus ascended into heaven?[’]

(Answer by small boy:) ‘Two men in white coats.’***



*[sic]


**{(?)}


***ref Acts [of the Apostles] 1:10****

– […] Magazine, July 1990, p20 (“J.E.P.H.”)


****[‘And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel’ (– Authorised (King James) version of the Bible)]



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