{Self-justification by faith}[14th November 1989]

 [Redbook6:346-347][19891114:1020]{Self-justification by faith}[14th November 1989] 

19891114.1020

Since my mother left* I have unfortunately been thinking again about that dark past, and my parents’ part in constructing it: both in relation to the flat, and in the upbringing of me and their other children.  Although there is little bitterness or resentment left, there is anger.  Much of this profitless resurgence arises, so far as I can see, out of specific things she said when she was here: new and specific information she gave to [W] and me, about family matters in the past and the present.  

While she was here [W] and I quarrelled four times: we rarely quarrel, in normal times; but my mood has been strange since then.  

It also occurred to me yesterday(?) that my present hard antipathy towards the institutional church – which shows signs of melting away, in thoughts (in sermon form) on the reality of Angels – probably dates, in this form, from around the time of my mother’s visit.  

*[[Redbook6:327][19891018:1842b][Maternal footnote][18th October 1989]]

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