{[+C†I~]}[20th November 1989]

 [Redbook6:348-349][19891120:0930]{[+C†I~]}[20th November 1989]

19891120.0930

I had intended to tell [Canon][XQ] of my uncertainties – which, after the Eucharist (an unusually excellent service, as several including he himself commented, but my first service for a month, I did: only to be immediately and totally won back again by his robust good sense and Christian awareness.* This left me with a renewed sense of inner peace: something I had not been aware of for some weeks.

He also left me with another book, Kenneth Swanson’s ‘Uncommon Prayer’. On p[age] 18, he** describes the end of his last drug trip (on LSD): ‘Suddenly, without any indication, I found myself face-to-face with the risen Lord Jesus Christ. He didn’t have to tell me who he was, and I didn’t have to ask. He said three things to me: “I am real. The Bible is true. You will never use drugs again.” I was immediately dropped out of the trip into normal consciousness.’ Reading this – in the bath – c2345 yesterday evening, I was suddenly aware of the strong presence of the archetype +C, +C†I~, and was (and am) convinced that – however much the +C of my fiction*** may or may not be distorted by my own subjective perception, the archetypal +C†I~ of inner experience is the Christ. I have always hoped that this was so, but felt it wrong to assume it to be: there are differences of emphasis between +C and the slightly Victorian image of the Church’s Jesus with which I grew up. Now I have the certainty of intimate (and continuing) experience.

*{The same sort of thing happened again at the Church children’s party just before Christmas (on 891215Fri)}

**[Swanson]

***and in my mind?

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