{Crisis Revisited [continued (6)]}[2nd August 1988]

[Redbook5:246-247][19880802:1234f]{Crisis Revisited [continued (6)]}[2nd August 1988]

19880802.1234

[continued]

Rationally, it could seem that concentration on this sort of pre-occupation (e.g. this writing) at the expense of my family’s material prosperity was a selfish act.*

In my experience, this is not so: when I spend significant time and thought on material provision for them, I soon become selfish and cruel; when I spend time on doing what I feel is right for me to do – this sort of thing – I become more loving and self-less towards them.

It isn’t at all easy, because I am accustomed to do what I know the World expects me to do, rather than what feels appropriate for me, what makes me at ease inwardly. A sense of external obligation, for a dutiful person – whether it is motivated by family or social pressures, or just prudence – is the most difficult thing to overcome. It is significant that Prudence is the Virtue assigned to Degree S~, next after C setting out on the Outer Circle: Virtue though it is, it can actually be dangerous.

But for submission to the Will of God – whatever the Will is, and whatever God is – all other obligations must be overcome.

*Psychologically, it could also appear as a form of escapism. In a sense, it is an escape from danger; but escape may be life-saving. Whether it is seen as a disease depends on one’s point of view.

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