Tuesday, 12 May 2015

{Decisions}[10th May 1983]

[Redbook2:267][19830510:2030]{Decisions}[10th May 1983]

19830510.2030

Laid up with flu, I was interested to hear from the primary school down the road the noise of children calling in their break: similar (if neither so wild nor so clear) to the noise I heard almost exactly six months ago today, when I had that primary school in mind as a comparison.


[continues]

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Monday, 11 May 2015

{[1]: A Visitation [continued (6)]]}[19th November 1982]

[Redbook2:265][19821119:2315]{[1]: A Visitation [continued (6)]]}[19th November 1982]

19821119.2315

Clear. Some wind in middle of day, otherwise calm. Deer in garden (and earlier this week).


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Sunday, 10 May 2015

{[1]: A Visitation [continued (5)]]}[18th November 1982]

[Redbook2:265][19821118:2245]{[1]: A Visitation [continued (5)]]}[18th November 1982]

19821118.2245

Windy. Cloud, some rain.


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Saturday, 9 May 2015

{[1]: A Visitation [continued (4)]]}[17th November 1982]

[Redbook2:265][19821117:2145]{[1]: A Visitation [continued (4)]]}[17th November 1982]

19821117.2145

Light wind with gusts. Cloud.


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Friday, 8 May 2015

{[1]: A Visitation [continued (3)]]}[16th November 1982]

[Redbook2:265][19821116:2215]{[1]: A Visitation [continued (3)]]}[16th November 1982]

19821116.2215

Mainly calm, but very early rain. A few gusts. Black north-wind clouds passed south at sunset. Writing better today – I relaxed, carefully.



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Thursday, 7 May 2015

{[1]: A Visitation [continued]]}[15th November 1982]

[Redbook2:265][19821115:2215]{[1]: A Visitation [continued]]}[15th November 1982]

19821115.2215

Rain last night.

Calm and clear and very cold again today.

A few gusts occasionally.


Still very tired. Not very happy with today's work: covers a lot in a little time, so tending to too much overview.


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Sunday, 3 May 2015

{[1]: A Visitation]}[14th November 1982]

[Redbook2:264-265][19821114:1915]{[1]: A Visitation]}[14th November 1982]

19821114.1915

In the few nights leading up to the darkest point*, I slept badly: the gale disturbed me, and I occasionally dreamt that things were falling down. Previously I had dreamt repeatedly that I had forgotten someone, or something, downstairs.

Last night I went to sleep with the 'light' version of the Leaping Chant* ringing in my ears, and dreamt continually that I was talking** to +M, as though he was actually there with me, in personality and manner very much as I try to describe him. I do not know what was said, but I did believe it to be important. I had, I should add, just re-read (having discovered by chance) an earlier entry*** in this book concerning a similar dream, from which his message was recalled clearly.

I have been very thirsty the last few nights, despite, I think, drinking as much as normal during the day. Last night I consumed one and a half pints from the measuring jug.

I have discovered that the 'Dragon' line runs near the Gog-Magog hills, south of Cambridge, which is where I had already decided the next book will have to be.

Weather: calm and clear dawn, rain later, a little wind briefly, but calm now. Very cold.

I am very tired when I finish for the day.


*[of '[1]']

**(in retrospect, my memory is that he was talking to me – my original description being, I think, imprecise writing. <19850531> )

***(I think this was Dream (3) on pp190A-191A [[Redbook2:191A][19810704:0500c]{A Dream of Visions, and the Soul's Uncertainty? [continued]}[4th July 1981]] <19870812>


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{[1] Voices [continued(3)]}[13th November 1982]

[Redbook2:263][19821113:2200]{[1] Voices [continued(3)]}[13th November 1982]

19821113.2200

On reflection, the cries* were neither happy nor unhappy – exactly like the sound of a primary school playground in break – the emotions were cancelling each other out. Slight again last night, briefly. Weather now very calm, clear, cold.


*[See last two previous entries.]

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{[1] Voices [continued]}[12th November 1982]

[Redbook2:263][19821112:2130b]{[1] Voices [continued]}[12th November 1982]

19821112.2130
[(continued]

I appreciate (and did then*) that this may be a purely medical or psychiatric warning signal, but I shall carry on.

I was prompted to write this here in the sitting-room by hearing, through the chant of light (which was the chant of darkness), more [of**] harmonious voices of a similar kind. But I think they are the gas lamps! See '[0]': The point, of course, is not how they happen, but why, and what effect they have on me (Cynics might ask: Why that too).

*[See last previous entry.]

**[presumably]

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{[1] Voices}[12th November 1982]

[Redbook2:263][19821112:2130]{[1] Voices}[12th November 1982]

19821112.2130

Great gale this morning -- disturbed dreams – died away and very still and clear now.

I should record that last night – after I completed what is probably the darkest point of the book – I went to bed fairly tense. I decided to practice the relaxing exercises, starting with concentrating down to the feet. I had got no further than that before I drifted away, but came back with surprise to find myself completely relaxed and light but hearing distinctly the happy cries of children (or possibly seagulls!) in large numbers all around me! It was so distinct that the gusts of the storm faded into the background, until I concentrated on them and brought them back – for a time (I think). Eventually I fell asleep.



[‘I believe profoundly in a God whose presence flows through all life and who calls out in the breath of the wind across the forest, the cry of the seabirds, the voices of children, in every living being. What God says in that ceaseless, wordless articulation is simply: “Respect me, cherish me.”’ (Jonathan Wittenberg, Senior Rabbi for Masori Judaism: ‘The Times’, Saturday 09/09/2017, p80, ‘Credo’). <20171009>]


[continues]

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Friday, 1 May 2015

{[1] Patterns}[11th November 1982]

[Redbook2:262][19821111:2145b]{[1] Patterns}[11th November 1982]

19821111.2145
[continued]

It was a great moment yesterday when I
(a) got the Rollright*-Stonehenge line to roughly cross the Mound at Marlborough (later getting it – I hope – exactly) and
(b) following the Stonehenge horizontal and the Rollright vertical, crossed them at a place called Sarsen Wood. I imagine that even if the stones have long since been broken for roads, there is unlikely to be any other explanation than the one-time presence of Sarsen Stones....


*(I only learnt about the Rollright Stones a month or so before this, and only found their grid reference while writing '[1]'.<19830510.2045>. – I think from New Scientist re ultra-sonic (?) properties of the Stones (copy lost).)
[See New Scientist, 21/10/1982, p166ff, Don Robins, “The Dragon Project and the talking stones”; &
New Scientist, 13/01/1983, p105, Charles Brooker,“Magnetism and the Standing Stones”.
These articles can be found foc on the Internet. <20180815&PostedBlogger>]


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{[1] Weather [continued(5)]}[11th November 1982]

[Redbook2:262][19821111:2145]{[1] Weather [continued(5)]}[11th November 1982]

19821111.2145

Wind rising again. Just as I re-read the final [...] party sequence fully for the first time, chilling myself with +K's manner and speech, a great gust of wind out of nowhere came and roared in the chimney and actually moaned in the windows – a thing which doesn't normally happen here. Brrr!


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Wednesday, 29 April 2015

{[1] Weather [continued(4)]}[10th-11th November 1982]

[Redbook2:262][19821111:0030]{[1] Weather [continued(4)]}[10th-11th November 1982]

19821110.2430
i.e. ½ past midnight on 11th

(Wind rose again in night.)

Day still and clear today, wind [was] up again this evening, quieter now.

A breakthrough on the Rollright Stones – joining top and bottom?*


*(On the map, I think.) <930116>

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{[1] Weather [continued(3)]}[9th November 1982]

[Redbook2:261][19821109:2315]{[1] Weather [continued(3)]}[9th November 1982]

19821109.2315
 
Clear and still.


[continues]

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Tuesday, 28 April 2015

{[1] Weather [continued]}[8th November 1982]

[Redbook2:261][19821108:2215]{[1] Weather [continued]}[8th November 1982]

19821108.2215

This morning, still and some sunlight: gale later in the day, rain, then calmer; now wind rising again. Gold and green leaves half-gone – carpet on ground instead.



[continues]

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Monday, 27 April 2015

{[1] Weather}[7th November 1982]

[Redbook2:261][19821107:2300]{[1] Weather}[7th November 1982]

19821107.2300

It was very quiet and still when I started '[1]' at the beginning of the week: the leaves had remained, as I very much hoped that they would; the Mulberry in front of the house was a lovely gold with green underlying. But for two evenings now the wind has been growing, and all day today, and now it is blowing a gale around the house: crying outside the bathroom window and roaring in the chimney. [The dog] and I both heard something fall, outside, maybe in the porch, just now: we went outside but could find nothing out of place, on the roof or on the ground.

I am not convinced that I want it to continue growing!


[continues]

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Sunday, 26 April 2015

{[1] Rhythm and Dancing}[6th November 1982]

[Redbook2:259-260][19821106:2200e]{[1] Rhythm and Dancing}[6th November 1982]

19821106.2200
[continued]

Today, to relax, singing a (now forgotten) phrase of a few notes only*, on the [C] forecourt, I ran, turning and leaping, from one side to the other** – something I have always wanted to do but never thought I could. Garden, of course, went on turning; I, walking, sideways. Tried to reverse it, wished I hadn't. But relaxed completely, and dog [(…)] went mad with joy: not touching me (would normally jump up) but rushing round and round front garden just inside hedge (and edge of lawn), then round house: after a few minutes he was quite puffed and wanted to go in – normally walks for miles and still bouncing.


*Later I remembered it, and it became the basis for the Leaping Rhythm [in 1]. <19830510.2045>

**i.e. of the forecourt <870812>

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Saturday, 25 April 2015

{A [1] Dream: of improper dress}[6th November 1982]

[Redbook2:259][19821106:2200c]{A [1] Dream: of improper dress}[6th November 1982]

19821106.2200
[continued]

This morning, dreamt I was in ?Rhodesia – sunny country – ?black toddlers – bicycling to and fro with blond-haired cousin taken in dream to be [X]. I said: Why are you always(?) so angry with me? She: Perhaps it is because your top does not reach your bottom – Even in this (police??) service they are quite smartly dressed; and in my (secret?) service…. I say: You mean my shirt hangs out; but she does not react to the joke, if it is one. I see no good reason why I should dream of [X] in this way; but there is one 'cousin'* with gold hair and a bicycle who chooses her clothes carefully, top and bottom, and is much in my mind at present....


*[+K] [in [1], presumably; but is this proto-[Xr] (the little dancer of [1])? <871213>

[continues]

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Friday, 24 April 2015

{A [1] Dream: of damaged texts}[6th November 1982]

[Redbook2:259][19821106:2200b]{A [1] Dream: of damaged texts}[6th November 1982]

19821106.2200
[continued]

Yesterday morning (I think), dreamed I was in [my secondary school], in scripture class, and I or ?I as ?+K misunderstood a reference to a newly discovered biblical tract (in fact Dead Sea Scrolls) as referring to something else discovered [at the] same time – ?probably Nag Hammadi texts* – found myself picking up and handing back (because e.g. damaged copies) all (as was remarked) the copies handed-out of the text he ([School] Chaplain?) was referring to. Chinese boys in class; at end, aeroplane flying up and down outside.


*(but I have wondered whether Apocryphal Gospels – Acts of ?John)

[continues]

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Thursday, 23 April 2015

{[1]}[6th November 1982]

[Redbook2:259][19821106:2200]{[1]}[6th November 1982]

19821106.2200

Briefly: started Monday, gone off food quite satisfactorily, got as bit of a hump (literary and psychological) yesterday, seem to have got over it today.


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Wednesday, 22 April 2015

{Miracles}[(11th August 1982)]

[Redbook2:240][19820811.2315b]{Miracles}[(11th August 1982)]

19820811.2315
[continued]
[Retrospective entry out of order]

(Another* note written some time ago:)

“God works his miracles thro' Men.”


*[See last previous entry.]

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Tuesday, 21 April 2015

{Socialists}[(11th August 1982)]

[Redbook2:240][19820811.2315]{Socialists}[(11th August 1982)]

19820811.2315
[Retrospective entry out of order]

(A note written some time when (I think) I was still with [the Accountants*]:)

“Cynically, there may be only two kinds of people who oppose capitalism: those (and they are surprisingly few) who believe that they have nothing to gain from it; and those who believe that, under another system, they are likely to be favoured.”


*[i.e. c.September/October 1976 to cApril/May 1980.]

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Monday, 20 April 2015

{Where The Rainbow Ends [continued]}[10th October 1982]

[Redbook2:256-257][19821010:2000b]{Where The Rainbow Ends [continued]}[10th October 1982]

19821010:2000
[continued]

Love, of course, is what is described (if I am right) by Mann in Hans Castorp's dream*: it is curious that whereas Mills' land Where the Rainbow Ends** seems to be populated by infant children, Mann's bay has, I should guess, adolescents and youths (with a very few exceptions): perhaps a little more advanced after the end of the process of 'unlearning'. (I know I have a cheek in comparing Mann with Mills: whose book is a dire warning on keeping politics out of art.)


*[In Thomas Mann's 'The Magic Mountain'. See last five entries before last previous entry.]

**[See last previous entry.]

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Sunday, 19 April 2015

{Where The Rainbow Ends}[10th October 1982]

[Redbook2:256-257][19821010:2000]{Where The Rainbow Ends}[10th October 1982]

19821010:2000

I should put this in perspective by pointing out that I have also just discovered the pattern of 'Where the Rainbow Ends' around [...]land: not so much in its landscape, as in the overall symmetry of its less political symbolism: the journey from St. George's hill, past the Slacker and the Dragon King's territory, to the shore where the Rainbow Ends more or less exactly corresponds to part of the Outer Circle route.

Start from what seems to be emerging as the City of St. Michael (within?) and St. George (without?): on the basis that, as one of the books which I part-read* last week says, the two are often identified as different aspects of the same idea – a thought which did occur to me some time back but I disregarded it as too tenuous; I am prepared to accept other authority! (The connection is to Ogbourne St. George in what I hope will be '[1]'). Pass round the outer shore through the point Complication (entering the Dragon's Wood?), past Distraction (the Slacker; also Mills' Elves etc.?); past the point Fragmentation (well, I don't know); the coast Revolution which is marked already with shipwrecks; and so to the point Simplification round the corner of which is, of course, the House at the End of the World (per ['0']).

It is also, by the colour scheme of the Great Circles, presumably where the Rainbow (or spectrum) ends: the rainbow of course has another end, which presumably is somewhere around the point Ordination. In a more ironic sense it is so too: here the wayfarer or pilgrim (to whom Mills continually refers, as if other than the 4 children of the book) must, in the Great Circles, choose, if he goes, to go round again – or cross to the adjacent Inner Circle station Love, presumably by a route affording a glimpse of the Castle, and start the inward circuit in the reverse direction.


*[“Where the Rainbow Ends: A Fairy Story by Clifford Mills based on the Fairy Play of the same name by Clifford Mills and John Ramsey”, Hodder And Stoughton Limited, London, c.1912ff]

*(Michell, 'The View over Atlantis'; Abacus, 1975, p.54.)

[continues]

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Saturday, 18 April 2015

{The Magic Mountain [continued(5)]}[10th October 1982]

[Redbook2:252-256][19821010:1330e]{The Magic Mountain [continued(5)]}[10th October 1982]

19821010:1330
[continued]

Possibly, who is the “lovely boy”? But certainly, who is the young goatherd watching from a height; and in the original, is there the English version's ambiguity as to whom he is watching: goats or people?

In Hans Castorp's own words: 'In a way, I knew it all beforehand. But how is it a man can know all that and call it up to bring him bliss and terror both at once? Where did I get the beautiful bay with the islands, where the temple precincts, whither the eyes of that charming boy pointed me, as he stood there alone? Now I know that it is not out of our single souls we dream. We dream anonymously and communally, if each after his fashion. The great soul of which we are a part may dream through us, in our manner of dreaming, its own secret dreams, of its youth, its hope, its joy and peace — and its blood-sacrifice. Here I lie at my column and still feel in my body the actual remnant of my dream — the icy horror of the human sacrifice, but also the joy that had filled my heart to its very depths, born of the happiness and brave bearing of those human creatures in white. It is meet and proper, I hereby declare that I have a prescriptive right to lie here and dream these dreams.'*


*[Thomas Mann, 'The Magic Mountain', trans. H.T Lowe-Porter; London: Penguin, 1960, p495.]


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Friday, 17 April 2015

{The Magic Mountain [continued(4)]}[10th October 1982]

[Redbook2:252-256][19821010:1330d]{The Magic Mountain [continued(4)]}[10th October 1982]

19821010:1330
[continued]

Certain questions arise. Why in the rainbow, when the green is central and (apparently) dominant, is the blue end transcendent; what exactly does transcendent mean, and is it what Mann meant? The whole direction of the Inner Circle once started is, of course, towards the blue end: strictly light blue, although light and dark blue are less strictly separated than (for example) yellow and red. But, if I am right, we are not there yet. Blue is the distance, the Sky and the Hills and the Sea surrounding; but not where we stand on land.

Where exactly is the temple? Because the shore scene as described so fully does not contain it or its street, and they do not seem to be contained within that scene – they seem to be mutually exclusive, connected only by the stone steps in two parallel flights, perhaps for two directions – I first saw the steps as leading back down from the temple gate behind him, as if he [had] sat on or just in front of the ridge. I think that this is still a possible reading: or else why did he never see the street of propylaea, if it lay below him in front, since he [had] seemed to see everything else below and in front? There is an implication, whether as an alternative to this reading or as a part of it, that he enters a different temple than the one down whose steps he first walked: which either is opposite to, or possibly actually is,* the scene he saw of the bay. This, reasonable or not, helps me, because the duality of the female figures carved in stone, and the ghastly carnage on the other side, fit closely as a symbol (but not a representation in my mind's eye) of the next station on the Circles, and in particular the outward aspect: Revolution.


*(the first, presumably) <930116>

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Thursday, 16 April 2015

{The Magic Mountain [continued(3)]}[10th October 1982]

[Redbook2:252-256][19821010:1330c]{The Magic Mountain [continued(3)]}[10th October 1982]

19821010:1330
[continued]

The half-circle is exact: only the [central mountain] is missing, not surprisingly, from the dream. The difference of course is explained in the people: not there in ['0'], but to be brought in: already there in Hans Castorp's dream. Love is the response in the dream: it is the actual station, the function of this place, in [...]land. There are the Horses, the Archers; the dancing, which is the response; even the fishing, perhaps from further off, and the ships, and the swimmers: and the lovers. Even the salute is there: not the same, but that it is there at all is remarkable.

It could easily be said that so much of this follows from the basic theme; but one still has to ask: why does it follow from the basic theme?


[continues]

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