{Vacant Possession}[12th June 1971]

[Redbook1:206][19710612]{Vacant Possession}[12th June 1971]

12th June 1971.

            I suppose it is a creative urge; but it feels at times more like a yawning emptiness that is almost physical.  At the same time it is a power within that expands and explodes and will not be denied.

            And yet I have committed myself to law for two more years, and I know that I can only do it if I put aside the book.  I think that is right; I cannot write such a book except with the whole of myself, and even that is not yet enough.  But already I feel the strain.

            At times it seems that I see the whole world spread out before me in all detail, and I know that something is wrong; I know that the key, or the keys, are there in plain view, and I cannot see them.

            Only by writing, it seems, can I soothe this urge, or fill this emptiness, or solve this problem.

            But my style is appalling, my written thoughts are ignorant, inexperienced and incoherent, and I cannot set down accurately what I feel.

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