{Happiness and Good}[13th November 1969]

[Redbook1:94][19691113:1630b]{Happiness and Good}[13th November 1969]

Thursday 13th November 1969. 4.30p.m. [continued]

           I am torn.  The greater part of me says: "There is no higher good than the well-being of your fellow creatures, and the only worthwhile happiness is that induced by doing what you can to make their lives easier.  Therefore, make all efforts to understand them, and to use that understanding to help them.”  But a doubt remains, to jab at me: Are happiness and good synonymous?  Will a contented childhood make a child less inclined to develop that sensitivity and awareness which can give so much pleasure and so much pain later on?

            I will remain true to myself; I will NOT let my sensitivity be blunted by happiness.

            Or is this a warped view of life?

            For the present, I must continue to make people happy so far as it is in my power.  There is no choice.  "Here I stand; I can do no other."

            N.B. I do NOT see myself as another Luther-type!

            Grief, hate, and hurt in and between other people -- in other words, tension -- all hurt me, literally.  I once stayed in a house in Wales -- or nearly so -- where the man and wife, both of whom I like very much, were tense with each other.  They kept asking why I was so well behaved: but I felt miserable with the part of me that was in the house, not fishing or walking.

[PostedBlogger14112012]