Monday, 19 November 2012

{A trip to Oxford [continued(3)]}[16th November 1969]


[Redbook1:97-98][19691116:1645b]{A trip to Oxford [continued(3)]}[16th November 1969]

Sunday 16th November, 4.45pm [continued]

            F.S. is one of the few people at this school that I really like.  We often disagree; one day we shall disagree about something of major importance; but he is the only person I can think of who I have never known be vindictive, spiteful, or underhand.  When he is angry, he is angry sincerely, openly, and he would never go out and slam the door.  That small thing is symptomatic of an incredible difference between him and (say) T.E. or B.G..  I cannot be objective enough about myself to compare us.

            He is regarded as a very "cultural” person – probably because he is fairly near the borders of sanity at times.  This is not meant to be vindictive or unkind, nor is it; I am simply writing the truth as it appears through my eyes.  His emotional background is disturbed.  He is subject to fits of depression, more acute than most of us.  Like me, he cherishes books for the sake of security.  [....]

            His own slightly apart view of life could make him into something we would call great.  His style, which many here glorify, is juvenile and immature -- but holds the seeds of greatness.  If he can but gain control of it, and learn not to let himself be carried away, I think he will be good.  He may be good already, in the market sense of the word, but not, for what it's worth, in my opinion.

            I have come to rely fairly heavily this term on his willingness to listen and to take account of my ideas and problems -- even when he does it humorously, his approach is serious enough to be helpful.  I think he may have found my own willingness to listen to him a help.  Odd that my one real contact with sanity in [the] House should be someone who is virtually a psychiatric case.

            That is not to say that I dislike the other people in this house.  I love them -- but that is another matter.

[continues]



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