[The Wind][4th November 1972]

[Redbook1:265A][19721104:1126][The Wind][4th November 1972]

197211041126

The Wind.

I will go where the wind takes me

I will become a free agent

And when the wind fades into silence

I shall die.

[PostedBlogger28112013]

{National Unionism}[31st October 1972]

[Redbook1:264][19721031:1053b]{National Unionism}[31st October 1972]

Tuesday 197210311053

[continued]

(L)       A National Union of Britons (N.I., NB?) (N.U.B.) or British Union -- to employ in defence of British interests the tactics of Unions? (sounds Fascist?)

[PostedBlogger27112013]

{Answers}[31st October 1972]

[Redbook1:264][19721031:1053a]{Answers}[31st October 1972]

Tuesday 197210311053

[continued]

(L)              (Here) – Social ‘circles’ don’t talk of serious things now, as they did in 1970 Michaelmas.

[PostedBlogger26112013]

{Questions}[31st October 1972]

[Redbook1:264][19721031:1053]{Questions}[31st October 1972]

Tuesday 197210311053

(L)              (Here) -- no questions in lectures now [-- ie where there used to be in 1st year -- but there have been a few since I wrote that].

[PostedBlogger25112013]

[Sharpthorne Hill][1st October 1972]

[Redbook1:263A-B][19721001:0000][Sharpthorne Hill][1st October 1972]

(19721001 - Copy(III))

Sharpthorne Hill

What we have lost

Cannot be accounted;

What we have gained,

We have lost.

Once I stood on Sharpthorne Hill,

Gazed across the Weald;

Saw how Men imposed their will:

Farm and factory, house and mill,

Road and wood and field.

Where the infant Medway flowed

Through a tree-lined alley,

Through the fields neatly sowed,

There a thread of steel rode

Clear across the valley!

Listen

To the humming of the rail!

Now I know we cannot fail.

See, away, the trees are smoking –

Clouds are curling up the valley;

And the steel rail is thrumming

Through a deep vibration.

Far across the valley

Drifts a clear call.

And the miracle, man’s making,

Passes snake-like through the woodlands –

Man and machine –

Thunders, clatters through the station,

And disappears.

Sound dies;

Smoke drifts, and dissolves.

Now all is gone;

And trees grow

Where trains thundered.

So passes Civilisation,

And all we value turns to dust.

Dust!  But maybe a new awakening,

Forced on us by greed –

By our people’s great consumption –

By our growing need –

Will rebuild our railways

[PostedBlogger24112013]

{European Bureaucracy}[13th September 1972]

[Redbook1:263][19720913:2353a]{European Bureaucracy}[13th September 1972]

Wednesday 197209132353.

            The thing that may cripple European political development is the growth of Bureaucracy.  The Belgians may live to regret the choice of their capital when ‘Brussels’ becomes synonymous with delay, confusion and petty tyranny.  Perhaps this is a good reason for keeping the Parliament and the Political Office elsewhere?

[PostedBlogger23112013]

{Imperial Aftertaste}[13th September 1972]

[Redbook1:262-263][19720913:2353]{Imperial Aftertaste}[13th September 1972]

Wednesday 197209132353.

            Perhaps British imperialism and power is a more lasting reality to certain nations of the World than it is to us ourselves ... as may be European Imperialism.

            Egypt expels Russians and asks for British defensive weapons before amalgamation with Libya.

            King Hassan of Morocco -- in a broadcast which has reversed my opinion of him -- wishes his English friends well.  (He must feel the need of friends!)

            President Amin accuses the British of a plot to assassinate him and overthrow (?) his government.

            I think that in many countries, particularly those near Europe, a traditional respect of the European empires and particularly of the British Empire -- as an enemy or as a friend -- has combined with awareness of developments within the European Community, so as to change the necessary international priorities of these countries already.

            Put another way: the prospect of the old Empire-builders finally uniting in a generally benevolent and potentially powerful grouping is giving many governments second thoughts.  The adherents of Britain to the Six may finally make credible for them the concept of a United Europe.  Many people remember the world-wide might and police function of the British Empire, and they may wonder, remembering this, what the new Europe will do in its own neighbourhood.

            To some people it may seem in simple terms that the old British Empire and its values are being given new teeth, new power, and new influence.

            So far as foreign policy is concerned, they may turn out to be some truth in that....

[PostedBlogger22112013]

[....][30th July 1972]

[Redbook1:261A][197207301040][....][30th July 1972]

[....]

[PostedBlogger21112013]

[Faces][19th July 1972]

[Redbook1:260B-C][19720719:1855][Faces][19th July 1972]

197207191855(Copy)

Faces

Into my dreams

A strange face wanders

Into my thoughts

A strange name hears

Itself repeated: pauses, listens,

Smiles – regretful – shakes its head, and leaves.

Still I lie, half dead, half dreaming.

‘See how very still he lies:

Hands relaxed and head unmoving

Now be still, and watch his eyes.’

-- moving: open, quiet and moving.

I was not afraid of loving.

‘Col is very ill’ – and dreaming

Still I hear their voices.

                        ‘Anything!’

‘I want his memory moved.

I want the people –

            The people in his life.

There’s just a chance – a small one –

This may, as it were, jerk him back

To wakefulness.’

                        You don’t understand:

You can’t.

Still, as I wander in fields of love and in

Mountains for wonder and longing of Sea

Still, comes a voice from the Otherness calling

‘Come – to my call – to my love – come to me!’

[PostedBlogger20112013]

[The Young Crown][18th July 1972]

[Redbook1:260A][19720718:1197][The Young Crown][18th July 1972]

(197207181107 Copy)

The Young Crown

The Young Crown

Gem-studded gold

Glittering, climbs with bugles

Mounting, through choirs and angels

To a broad horizon,

An inglorious end.

[PostedBlogger19112013]

{Counter-terrorism}[15th July 1972]

[Redbook1:261][19720715:1034]{Counter-terrorism}[15th July 1972]

Saturday 197207151034

            The I.R.A are becoming more and more like the Army in possession of sophisticated weapons etc..

            Surely the Army’s answer must be to become more like the IRA: move in plain (e.g. IRA) clothes round behind IRA positions [...].

            Certain corollaries:  e.g. telephone communications should be cut (except for emergencies) during fighting in any particular area.

            Possibly certain Irish Catholics would volunteer for this work?

[PostedBlogger18112013]

{Hereditary Peerage}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:260][19720630:1712i]{Hereditary Peerage}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       Hereditary Peerage is the only sure way of getting a significant representative number of ‘uncommitted’ young people into Parliament.

(‘[The ]Times’?)

[PostedBlogger17112013]

{Diplomacy}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:260][19720630:1712h]{Diplomacy}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       Would it be possible to exploit divisions between national governments for the benefit of their peoples?

[PostedBlogger16112013]

{Unions and Customers}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:260][19720630:1712g]{Unions and Customers}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       B[ritish] R[ail] and others: get Unions and Customers together in disputes (i.e. to show Unions practical effects of higher pay).

[PostedBlogger15112013]

{Communal Flats}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:260][19720630:1712f]{Communal Flats}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       Flats with a common-room* -- to be run by (e.g. Council) Tenants.

*[shared between them?]

[PostedBlogger14112013]

{Creating Markets}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:260][19720630:1712e]{Creating Markets}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       ? Advertising should be heavily censored, to prevent it increasing the expectations of the people beyond their means.  The damage to economic growth will have to be borne.  Advertising which tells the consumer where to get something he already wants is okay; advertising which awakens in him a need he did not know he had, is not.

            Since commercial advertising is purely for profit, the arguments against censorship need not apply.

            Self-censorship should be encouraged, at least at first.

[PostedBlogger13112013]

{Careers}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259-260][19720630:1712d]{Careers}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       With proper careers advice in schools, employment policy and regional incentives/labour mobility, no one should be forced into a job they do not wish to do unless their (lack of) ability precludes them from taking those they prefer.  (i.e. => bans on strikes not so bad.)

[PostedBlogger12112013]

{Secondary Lay-offs}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259][19720630:1712c]{Secondary Lay-offs}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       ? Strikes illegal if they affect industrial/productive operations outside those done immediately by the strikers?

[PostedBlogger11112013]

{The Emotional Isle}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259][19720630:1712b]{The Emotional Isle}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       Ireland -- as an emotional problem, needs an emotional response.

(L)       No internment ever, if it by-passes Courts -- better introduce an unjust law and operate it through the Courts.

[PostedBlogger10112013]

{Chance}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259][19720630:1712a]{Chance}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

[continued]

(L)       Chance may be governed by the law of averages [but] the luck is involved in being the person to whom it happens, the 1 in 100.  In business, good management may be a question of making oneself the one in the (right) one hundred.

[PostedBlogger09112013]

{Time and Creation}[30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259][19720630:1712]{Time and Creation}[30th June 1972]

Friday 197206301712

            (These [next 11, marked ‘L’]  mostly come from last term’s rough notes).

(L)       If time were one of the limitations (see elsewhere) not applicable to the Mind-Creation, its decision would (?)  be immediately turned into fact / would immediately affect it.

(later:)

            (i.e. the relationship between time and cause-and-effect may not be quite as we imagine it??)

[PostedBlogger07for08112013]

[On the Edge of the Abyss][30th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259H][19720630Previous][On the Edge of the Abyss][30th June 1972]

            *CoF: On the edge of the Abyss/abyss.

*(CoF = The Children of the Fell: The original fictional label for the 4 Cardinal Archetypes)

[PostedBlogger07112013]

[Running Dream][28th June 1972]

[Redbook1:259A-G][19720628:0000][Running Dream][28th June 1972]

19720628

            Through the grey streets, behind the ‘swish-swish’ of the wipers, I became hunted.  Sometimes passing a side road I glimpsed the menacing shape of a blue patrol-car; but always the old Citroen escaped detection, to roam the streets, moving continuously, pursued and unable to rest.

            Finally I had to stop.  I pulled in by the pavement, hoping to sleep unnoticed.  But shortly the police arrived, and surrounded me, standing silent.

            We moved into a nearby building to negotiate.  In a small auditorium I was surrounded by people.

            ‘What shall I say?’ I asked in despair.

            ‘Tell them to release you or let you go.’

            ‘What do you want?’ I asked the police chief.

            ‘We would like your help.’ It seemed to me that he was for some reason playing me softly, understating his concern.  ‘We would like you to come with us.’

            ‘Are you going to arrest me?’

            ‘We would like you to come with us.’

            ‘Tell him of your fear of assassination.’ I was advised.

            The police chief looked at papers behind his desk.  ‘Our calculations lead us to believe that you are in greatest danger of assassination at two o'clock this afternoon.’  The implication was clear: Come with us and you will be safe.

            Panic rose in me.

            I turned.  The girl behind and above me seemed to be holding a knife.  She lunged.  Twice I held her off; the third time I mistook, and she slipped upwards past my guard.

            Suffering no pain, I distinctly felt and saw my own throat cut, the air pipe severed and exposed to the air; awkwardly, and in fear, I became aware of the impossibility of my living.

            In a deserted and dusty classroom of my first boarding school I read the newspaper account of what had happened next.  I had quite suddenly slaughtered a number of the people around me in the auditorium.  There were references to an earlier, similar offence.  I did not remember either occasion; but I accepted that they occurred.

            Clearly there was only one thing I could do.  I had to give myself up and attempt to make some amends for what I had done.  I had also to try to find out what exactly I had done, and why.

            I went to the door.  A man was passing in the passage outside.  I stopped him.

            ‘My name is Richard Collins.’ I saw fear rise to his eyes.  ‘Would you please inform the Police that I am here?’

            But when they came, blue-uniformed and menacing, I became frightened.  The old hunted feeling returned.

            In a room somewhere in my second boarding school, I searched among piles of umbrellas.  I was helped by the little Chinese boy I had known in my childhood -- still as friendly and inscrutable as ever.  I found an umbrella I had lost many years ago -- my name was on the handle -- and an old walking stick, which I abandoned.

            I set out with my umbrella unfurled.

            In Lincoln's Inn I find a fair-haired child, little changed, who was a younger friend of my own youth.  As a police patrol-car comes in by the Gate, we go out over the Wall.

            In Lincoln's Inn Fields I test my powers in a small way, vaulting the fences with no effort.

            My companion is the only person apparently unafraid of me.

*          *          *

           

            Or, possibly, he is desperately afraid – more so as I explain my ‘blank periods’ and the destruction worked in them -- but he overcomes his fear, to try to help.

           

            The whole thing seems horribly logical -- especially if my murderous ‘blank’ periods are triggered by fear, causing the power to be given rein under the control of only of basic instinct.  But what causes the fear?  I suspect a telepathic element.  This would fit in with my illusion of being killed when in fact it was I who was unwittingly doing the killing.  My own fear might then be the result of other people's intentions towards me – or (and this hardly bears thinking about) the reflection of other people's fear of me.

            Clearly I am gaining control of the power which was used in (and caused?)  my blank periods.  But I am afraid of the unreliable element which may remain when the fear arises in me, since I cannot see any prospect of controlling that fear.

            My companion is disturbed most by the thought of my telepathic powers.  With great intensity, he insists that when I experiment in use of this faculty, I must not use it on him.

Piecing together previous events, and calculating future probabilities, I begin to see why the Police were so wary of me, and why an attempt was made to kill me.

... If it was made.

[This was the write-up of a genuine dream which I noted down on waking and, I believe, wrote up very soon afterwards while the memory was still fresh.]

[PostedBlogger06112013]

{A visit to [school][continued]}[23rd June 1972]

[Redbook1:258][19720623:1515]{A visit to [school][continued]}[23rd June 1972]

Monday 19720623 1515

            At lunch, [the Housemaster’s wife] said how nice it was that some of their old boys are now beginning to appear in the papers.

           

            “Like [ID].” says the Housemaster.

(who, if I recall correctly, had just been sent to prison for leading a gang to rob country homes which he had ‘cased’ as a house-guest)<19880324,19921002>

[PostedBlogger05112013]

{A visit to [school][continued]}[19th June 1972]

[Redbook1:258][19720619:1502]{A visit to [school][continued]}[19th June 1972]

Monday 19720619 1400.

[continued]

            1502

            I have been caught nicely over the House Book.  I suspected in 1969 that it would become more public and I felt some misgiving over filling it in; but vanity overcame.  (It was originally top-secret.)  Now I find it on public exhibition!  Fortunately few people were interested enough to read it.

[PostedBlogger04112013]

{A visit to [school][continued]}[19th June 1972]

[Redbook1:258][19720619:1400]{A visit to [school][continued]}[19th June 1972]

Monday 19720619 1400.

            [DC], who was not at [the] House with me, appeared at the Sunday party, looked at my lapel badge, and said: ‘So you’re the famous [...][Hunter]’!  That made my day completely, although she would not explain much; when she introduced herself I retaliated, saying truthfully that I [had] heard a bit about her (unfortunately I cannot remember what).

[PostedBlogger03112013]

{A visit to [school]}[18th June 1972]

[Redbook1:254-257][19720618:1943]{A visit to [school]}[18th June 1972]

Sunday 197206181943

            For some time I have been thinking of committing memories of [my old school] to paper.  [TE]’s visit showed me how much I have forgotten (until reminded), as did the [House Centenary] weekend. 

            Will I be able to use it?  I am too bound up with it at the moment to know; but I think I may.

            I shall at least start to record these memories.

            The weekend was a failure in the sense that due mostly to a breakdown we arrived too late, and so missed what might for me have been the most interesting part -- the party in which the whole House took part.  We arrived late due to a combination of things -- including the [Darwin College] May Ball (which I had not wanted to go to but to which I was persuaded to take [my cousin] [R].  My car went wrong on Wednesday so that instead of sleeping I got up after three hours on Saturday to check it *was going to be done (and so that [?—sic] I had extra luggage to fit in) .  [My cousin] [C] was an hour and a half late packing and I was another hour late due to a last-minute hitch at the garage where the car was repaired.  Even so we would have got to [the school] soon after the beginning of the party -- but I was feeling sleepy so we had to take [D’s] Daimler (the only car D can drive single-handed) and push it at 70mph -- and at [...] New Town, thirteen miles from [the] House, we broke down.  Then the taxi could not find the [...] pub.  In the end we arrived just as they were clearing up, I think at about a quarter to midnight.

            I still feel surprisingly bitter and hurt about the combination of events that led up to our not getting there in time.  I feel that if I had refused to take R (I did [at] first -- and I had no particular wish on my own account to go) and gone on my own without D**, I would have got there in time and had a better time in other ways.

            But the car breakdown was bad luck (or mismanagement?), and I enjoyed going there with him.

            Also I had a tremendous time while I was there.  Those old boys and girls (‘old things’?)  who turned up -- not many, but enough – and whom I saw, I enjoyed seeing; and many of the boys I met still in
                                 the House {what was I going to say? Damn! ‘I enjoyed seeing’/’were in good form’?}

            I had some left-overs then: and to bed about 1.30 a.m. in the tent: after talking to some present inhabitants and the other ‘old [House]ians’ I went to bed in the marquee and passed a windy (and, later, cold) night in (considering the circumstances) reasonable comfort.

            Woken up finally by [the Housemaster] moving around c.9a.m., I found some breakfast in [the] kitchen with the others, looked at the exhibition, read the papers, talked to [SB] and [BQ], walked to the [...] Meadows, on to [the History VIth Classroom] (Dr. B not there) and back in time for the drinks party just after 11.45, where I met D.  That was a very good party from my point of view -- for once I was on good form, and made people laugh.  Afterwards we lunched on Saturday’s leftovers with the [Housemaster and his wife] and QM, and left by taxi to [the station] and train.

            Some things stand clear still.  (I hope to remember and record some of the rest over the next few days.)

            [CO], as politely abrupt as ever.  [EQ] looking a little miserable because none of his ‘generation’ except [JD] had turned up -- and even J was more of my ‘generation’, having arrived a term for me.  A good man, E -- surprising that when T[E] mentioned him earlier, I could not remember him -- and when I saw him (admittedly after dark) I did not recognise him.

            [EG] -- although I don't know how he felt -- looked miserable.  This may be just EG’s look -- but if not, there is an ironical story for me here.

            When I first returned to [the House] -- at least a year after leaving -- I was a little depressed by the (not unexpected) unconscious lack of hospitality by such as DN.  EG, however was sympathetic and invited me to come often again.

            Unfortunately when I next did see him he was just off to some function [...] but I got the impression he did not have much time for my sort.  I do remember with rueful amusement that he dismissed what I wrote in the House Book (admittedly blush-making) as largely truism!

            Today he seemed depressed.  Perhaps he wasn't; but I'm afraid my (by now cheerful) memories led me to tease him a little, saying: ‘Glad it's all over?’  I'm not sure he saw the point, depressed or not; but I was in a mean little way delighted to see him apparently feeling as I did.

           

            It is tough for some, of course: perhaps too tough now.

*(but that was also the heat)

**[who had also been a pupil at the House]

[PostedBlogger03for02112013]

{Love and Sex [continued]}[15th June 1972]

[Redbook1:253][19720615:1600d]{Love and Sex [continued]}[15th June 1972]

Thursday 19720615 1600.

[continued]

(L)       III.  -- would be unlikely and unnecessary if we treated women as they deserve – as equals, but different – they wouldn’t have to resort to it from (1) face-saving and  (2) economic necessity.

[PostedBlogger01112013]